Barefoot in the Park
by RachetElsaKicksAss
Summary: Modern!AU ELSANNA "We've been married for six days, Anna." "Six days does not a week make." These poor newlyweds never saw their "adventure" coming when they got their minuscule apartment. With one being a hard worker and the other a hard lover, marriage became a pain; but if you throw in a telephone, a mother, gourmet food, and crazy neighbors, Elsa might just have an aneurysm.
1. Five Flights

**Hellooo, beautiful people of the internet!**

**So I love the idea of Elsa and Anna both getting married and living together, so this idea was born.**

**I'm in the middle of another fic, but just had to get the first chapter of this one down on paper (or pixels...whatever). It's based off a play I read with a friend.**

**Anyways, without further me talking, here's the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen or Neil Simmons.**

* * *

The apartment they chose was…a _fixer upper_.

It was a large one-room apartment on the top floor of an old building in the middle of the city. Currently, a splintered ladder, a canvas drop cloth, and a couple of empty paint cans stood solemnly in the middle of the otherwise empty room. Through a large skylight overhead, February sunshine poured into the room, and the dull rumble of building construction reverberated under the symphony of car horns and sirens in the city.

There were only two other rooms in the apartment, and they were both to the left of the room. They stood adjacent to each other, and to get to them one had to climb four wooden steps that had bowed over years of use. The first door above the steps was the bedroom. Only, it wasn't really a bedroom. It was a six foot by four foot dressing room. The bathroom was through the other door. It had no tub. Just a shower and small sink and what have you.

The doors to both the rooms were at one point white, but cat claws, dog paws, and countless human hands have scratched and dulled the paint away, unveiling the dark wood underneath through chipped veins.

To the right side of the room was a kitchen. Only, it wasn't really a kitchen. It was just an old stove, an older refrigerator, and a chipped sink that stood nakedly between them. There was nothing separating the kitchen from the rest of the room, no walls or anything, so it was simply called the kitchen "area."

The whole room was freshly painted. Not carefully, and obviously not professionally, but painted.

There was a soft jingling at the front door from a key being shimmied into the lock. It opened with a small creak, revealing a spunky redheaded woman: Anna Winters. Her shining copper hair was carefully plaited into two pigtail braids over her shoulders, and dark freckles were sprinkled generously over her tanned cheeks. She wore jeans and a yellow long-sleeved shirt beneath a shaggy fur coat, and she carried a large bouquet of flowers, their stems wrapped in green paper.

Sporting a gleaming smile, Anna looked around the room slowly, drinking in her new home, and breathed out a happy sigh. Stepping up into the room, she picked up a stray empty paint can, filled it with water from the kitchen, and placed in the flowers, throwing their wrapping on the floor. Looking for a suitable place for her new piece of décor, Anna placed the "vase" on the ledge beside the window. She stood beside her creation and admired it in satisfaction, her hands on her hips.

_BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ_

_They're here already!_ Anna thought excitedly. The redhead skipped to the door and buzzed back on the small, rusted button next to the door-frame.

She shoved open the door. "Hello?" she shouted down the stairs, cupping a hand over her mouth to project her voice.

From the depths of the spiraling stairs, possibly from the bottom of the Earth, a voice shouted back up. "Winters?"

Anna frowned, her spirits falling slightly at being wrong about who was coming up the stairs, but she recovered quickly, her natural enthusiasm bursting forth again. "Yes! Up here!" she shouted back, shrugging off her coat and tossing it on the paint splattered ladder in the room. "The top floor!"

Leaving the door open, Anna re-entered the room and opened one of the two small suitcases that were in the kitchen area. From one of the suitcases she unpacked a green bottle of champagne and put it in the R2D2-sized refrigerator.

"Hello?" the voice weakly shouted again, this time a little closer.

"Up here! You have another floor to go," she shouted through the door before crossing the room back to the suitcase, taking out a few small logs and carrying them to the stove.

As she dropped the logs in front of the stove, the voice appeared at the door. She turned to greet the newcomer, analyzing him with a wide-eyed curiosity. In her doorway was a tall, heavy-set man with shaggy blonde hair (probably in his mid-thirties). He wore a plaid wool jacket and fur cap and was breathing very, very hard.

"Tel—," the man gasped, bending over as he tried to catch his breath. He coughed. "Telephone Company."

Anna clasped her hands together. "Oh, the phone! Great. Come on in," she directed excitedly, gesturing for the man to enter.

The man did so, carrying a black leather repair kit at his side. He rolled his shoulders back and cracked his neck, and if he had the breath, he would have sighed in relief as the stretch made tension leave his joints.

"That's quite a…*cough*…quite a climb," he managed to say between breathes, his face flushed red from exertion.

Anna smiled and laughed, cradling her arms behind her back. "Yeah, it's five flights if you don't count the front stoop."

The man looked up at her with a blank, panting face, his thick eyebrows drawn into a straight line over his brown almost gold eyes. "I _counted _the front stoop," he stated bitterly.

As the man continued his heavy breathing, he pulled a small beaten notebook from his repair kit and flipped through it. His fingers stopped one of the yellow pages. "Elsa Winters, right?"

Anna put her hands on her hips and puffed her chest out. "_Mrs. _Elsa Winters," she stated proudly.

The man ignored her last comment, his eyes glued to his book. "Princess phone?" he asked, coughing again.

_Wha?_ Anna thought nervously. "Y-You mean the little one?" she stuttered. The man bent over again, his head down and his hands on his knees as he continued to catch his breath. "That lights up?" Anna twisted her body and head downwards to try and look at the man's downturned face to see if she was right. The man suddenly looked up at her, making their faces awkwardly close. Embarrassed, Anna quickly reeled back, her braids whipping at the sudden movement. "I-In blue?" she finished in a small voice while her face flushed.

The man looked at her with the same annoyed expression. "The little one…*pant pant*…That lights up…*pant pant*…In blue…*pant pant*…," he managed out. He swallowed hard before standing up and taking off his fur cap, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand.

"Would you like a glass of water?" Anna asked concernedly.

The man sucked in for air, his eyes going wide at the mention of refreshment. "Please!" he wheezed.

Anna nodded and crossed over to the kitchen. "I'd offer you soda or a beer, but we don't have anything yet."

The man waved his hand dismissively. "A glass of water's fine."

Anna paused and slowly turned back to him, suddenly embarrassed. "…Except I don't have a glass either…"

"Oh jeez," the man breathed out as he rolled his brown eyes and slumped against the wall.

"Nothing's arrived yet…," she explained sadly, fiddling her hands in front of her. Her head suddenly perked up, and she pointed towards the rusted faucet in the sink. "You could put your head under and just schlurp," she hopefully suggested.

"No," he immediately said. "I'm okay. Just a little out of shape." With a grunt, the man climbed over the step by the door and looked around. He walked towards the middle of the room, and Anna closed the door behind him.

"Where do you want the phone?" he asked, sitting down on a bowed peg on the wooden ladder.

"Oh." Tapping her finger on her lip, Anna looked around, twirling in a little confused circle. "The phone…Let me see…" She furrowed her brow and bit the inside of her cheek, analyzing the room. Not having the attention span to consider any one spot for more than a few seconds, she threw her hands up in defeat. "Pfft, I don't know. Do you have any ideas?"

The man looked around the room and shrugged. "Well, it depends what you're gonna do with the room. You gonna have any furniture in here?"

Anna nodded her head excitedly. "Yeah, it's on its way up."

The man blinked. He glanced over his shoulder at the stairs, grimaced, and turned to look back up at Anna. "_Heavy _furniture?"

"I'll tell you what," Anna began, ignoring his last comment and pointing to the telephone junction box on the wall beside the bedroom. "Just put it over there and give me an extra-long extension cord." She smiled, flashing perfectly white teeth. "If I can't find a place, I'll just hang it out the window."

The man smiled and let out a short, gruff laugh. "Fair enough," he said, crossing the room to the junction box and wincing loudly in pain from his sore legs.

Anna heard him grimace. "Sorry about the stairs," she said with a small embarrassed laugh, taking one of the large suitcases from the kitchen and dragging it with difficulty towards the bedroom.

Opening his tool bag, the man watched in amusement as Anna struggled to drag the suitcase up the first step. It was nearly as big as her, and heavier too judging by the way her face turned red and sweat gathered on her brow. "You're really gonna live up here, heh?...I mean, every day?" he asked, looking around the poor excuse for a home.

Anna paused on the third step, her grip tight on the suitcase and her back arched with effort. "Every day," she wheezed out, forcing on a smile while she yanked on the suitcase again.

"You don't mind it?" He gestured with his hand to the entire room and all the rust, cobwebs, creaky boards, and countless other things it had wrong with it.

Anna didn't get the offensiveness of his gesture, concentrating too much on dragging her suitcase. With a muffled bang on the floorboards, the suitcase made it to the top of the steps. Anna breathed a heavy sigh of relief, leaning on the suitcase and turning to look at the man. "Mind it…? I _love_ this apartment," she stated, bouncing on her toes and sporting a smile that shone enough to nearly blind. She opened the small door behind her and continued to drag the suitcase, scraping its leather on the floorboards.

When Anna reappeared in front of the door, her tone changed. "Well, it _does_ discourage some people."

"What people?" the man asked without looking up.

Anna slowly walked down the stairs towards the kitchen to grab another suitcase. "You know…Mothers, friends, relatives…mothers." She grabbed a medium sized suitcase that she could carry with both hands and began trekking back to the bedroom. "I mean, no one just 'pops' in on you when they have to climb five flights to—OW!"

Glaring at her dropped suitcase, Anna bounced lightly on her left foot, clutching the other in her hands as she massaged her swelling big toe. Her face turned a deep crimson and her mouth puffed up with air as she struggled to retain the string of curses that wanted to escape her mouth.

The man spared her a glance, smirked, and then returned to his work. "You're a newlywed, right?"

Anna blinked at him, stopping her hopping. "Six days," she stated. She tentatively put her foot back on the ground and tested pressure on her big toe, flinching only slightly. "What gave me away?"

The man shrugged, a smug smile on his face. "I gotta feeling. Some call me a love expert, and you seem in the fits of a honeymoon daze."

Anna opened her mouth to question this "love expert" further but was interrupted by a buzz from the doorbell.

_BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ_

Anna limped quickly to the front door, conscious of her toe. "I hope that's the furniture," she said to herself.

The man groaned and slumped over the junction box. "I don't want to see this," he grumbled, pitying the fool who had to do this woman's bidding.

Anna quickly pressed the buzzer next to the door before throwing it open and leaning out. "Helloooo! Bloomingdale's?" she yelled.

"Lord and Taylor!" came the distant response.

"Lord and Taylor?" Anna asked herself in confusion. She shrugged and went to the kitchen to take one of the smaller suitcases and put it in the closet. "Probably another wedding gift from mother. I swear, that woman sends me wedding gifts twice a day."

The telephone man slowly exhaled hot air on his bare hands, rubbing them together. "I hope it's an electric heater."

Now worried, Anna felt the steam pipe next to the door. "Really? Is it cold in here?"

The man looked at her incredulously before he showed her his shaking hands. "I can't grip the screw driver." He nodded his head towards the radiator. "Maybe the steam is off."

Anna nodded and walked towards the radiator. "Maybe that's it," she mumbled to herself.

The man rolled his eyes at the redhead's aloofness and turned back to his work, gripping his screwdriver as tightly as he could. "Just turn it on. It'll come right up."

Anna cocked her jaw in annoyance. _I know how it works. _"It _is_ on. It's just not coming up," she said, slightly irritated.

The man sighed and rubbed his numbing hands together again, glancing at Anna over his shoulder. "That's these old building for ya."

Anna leaned her back against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest. "I prefer it this way," she defended. "It's a medical fact, you know, that steam is very bad for you."

The man looked at her through half-lidded eyes. "Oh really? Even in February?"

Anna opened her mouth to retort but was interrupted by the front door busting open. Both of the room's occupants spun their heads towards the loud newcomer: a small old man with a white mustache carrying three packages. Practically falling through the door, the man's grip on the door knob was the only thing keeping him from falling flat on his face. He was a man in his early sixties, and from the way he was gasping, it seemed the end was very near.

Anna crossed over to him, her argument with the telephone man forgotten. "Oh, hi!" she greeted, waving animatedly. "Just put it down…" she looked around the empty apartment, "…anywhere."

The wheezing delivery man shakily put down the packages beside the door. He opened his mouth to talk, but he couldn't. He was too busy gasping for air. Spotting the telephone man to his side, the old man extended his bony arm for a bit of compassion, his eyes wide and pleading.

The telephone man grasped his hand and patted it gently. "I know, I know," he cooed softly, like he was comforting an old war buddy.

Anna laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head. "Sorry about the stairs." The delivery man took out a pad and pencil from his coat and held them out limply towards Anna. "What's this?" she asked, confused.

The telephone man grabbed his screwdriver and resumed his work. "I think he wants you to sign it," he said over his shoulder.

"Oh, yes." Anna took the pen and signed the pad quickly, doodling a small snowflake after her new last name: _Winters_. "Wait, just a minute," she pleaded, running to the kitchen and scourging around for any money to tip him. She returned with a few dollars in change and put them in the man's shaking hand. He weakly nodded his appreciation and turned to leave. "Will you be alright?" she asked after him. The old man wheezed out an unintelligible response before he shut the door abruptly behind him.

Anna picked up two of the small packages and brought them to the bedroom. "It's a shame, isn't it?" she called over her shoulder to the telephone man. "Giving such hard work to an old man."

The man laughed shortly. "He's probably only twenty-five. They age fast on this route," he said, gesturing towards the stairs out the door. He put down his screwdriver and dialed into the phone, holding it to his ear. "Hello, Sven? Yeah…On…er…Eldorado 5-1196…Give me a straight check."

Anna walked from the bedroom stairs towards the man, holding her hands in front of her face excitedly. "Is that my number? Eldorado 5-1196?" The man nodded stiffly, flinching at the high octave her voice had risen to. Anna sighed dramatically happy, her eyes drooping. "It has a nice sound, doesn't it?"

The man stifled a groan. _Why fool with a romantic._ "Yeah, it's beautiful," he said curtly, putting the phone back on the receiver. "Well, you've got your phone. As my mother would say, may your first call be from the Sweepstakes."

The man reached to gather his things, and Anna moved towards the phone, picking it up tenderly. "My very own phone…" she said softly. She turned towards the man with a smirk, holding it up proudly. "Gives ya a sense of power, doesn't it? Can I make a call now?"

The man put the cover on the junction box and picked up his bag. "Your bill started two minutes ago."

Anna tapped the head of the phone on her chin. "Who can I call?...I know!" she exclaimed, slightly startling the man and dialing furiously.

The man began his retreat to the door. "By the way, my name is Kristoff Bjorman. And if you ever have any trouble with this phone, please, do me a favor—_don't_ ask for Kristoff Bjorman."

Not hearing a response, Kristoff turned back towards the redhead. Shoulders drooping, Anna hung up the phone, a look of disappointment on her face, and Kristoff stopped moving towards the door. "What's the matter, bad news?" he asked, slightly concerned that the redheaded ball of energy was quiet.

Anna made a face and mimicked the monotone voice of a telephone operator. "It is going to be cloudy with a light snow."

Kristoff nodded in understanding. Snow was always bad this time of year. He looked towards the skylight. "But just think, you'll be the first one in the city to see it fall," he said, trying to lighten the girl's spirits.

_BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ_

To the blonde man's surprise, the doorbell stunned Anna right out of her disappointed haze. The redhead rushed to the door, tapping the buzzer. _Please let that be the furniture._ "Yes?" she yelled down.

"It's me!" came a familiar voice from below.

Anna's eyes widened and she felt a prick of anxiety in her chest. "O-Oh, hi, Elsa!" she called back. She turned back to look at the room and sighed. "Well, I guess she sees the apartment without the furniture," she grumbled, taking one of the remaining packages and placing it beside the flowers.

Kristoff stood and observed Anna nervously tidy up the place for the female voice he assumed was her spouse. "How long d'ja say you were married?" he asked.

"Six days."

Kristoff waved his hand. "She won't notice the place is empty until June." He stood in the doorway and turned back to Anna, taking off his cap in farewell. "Well, Eldorado 5-1196…Have a nice marriage." He looked over the room one last time before looking back to Anna. "And may you soon have many extensions." Winking, Kristoff placed his cap back on his head and turned towards the stairs. He moaned at the sight and reluctantly began his descending climb.

Anna quickened her tidying up. _Any second now_, she thought while she stacked empty paint cans and dusted off the rusty fridge with her hand. _Ew._ She grimaced at the orange slime that coated her palms and wiped her hands furiously on the back of her jeans.

"Anna?" came Elsa's distant voice through the open door. "Where are you?"

Anna rushed to the door. "Up here, hon…Top floor…!" she yelled down. The phone began ringing. _Already?_

Anna quickly picked the phone from the receiver and held it to her ear with both hands. "Hello?...Yes?...Oh, yes, she is…I mean, she's on her way up…Can you hold on for two more floors?" She put the phone down against her chest and yelled out the door, "Elsa! Hurry up, darling!"

"Okay!"

Anna brought the phone back to her ear. "Hello? She'll be with you in one more flight. Thanks." She placed the phone on the floor and continued to ready the apartment. Jumping up the stairs, she quickly closed the bedroom and bathroom doors. She saw the wrapping from the flowers on the floor of the kitchen and some wadded up newspapers on the stove. Rushing over, she gathered them up and threw them into the nearest hiding place, the refrigerator. Satisfied with what she now saw, she turned back to the open door.

"Now honey, don't expect too much," she yelled out the door. "The furniture didn't get here yet and the paint didn't come out exactly right, but I think it's going to be beautiful."

There was no answer from the stairs. Anna leaned further out the door. "Elsa?...Elsa, are you alright?" she called, concerned when her wife didn't respond.

"I'm coming. I'm coming."

Anna rushed back to the phone. "She's coming. She's coming," she quickly said into the receiver before placing it on the floor again.

Finally, Elsa fell through the door, leaning heavily against the cracked door frame to keep her legs from giving out beneath her. Elsa was twenty-six but was breathing like fifty-six. Her silver white bangs were plastered to her forehead with sweat, and her plaited braid was frizzled and wiry. Her blue tie hung loosely around her neck, and the sleeves of her button down were rolled up to her elbows. She carried a heavy suitcase, a trench coat, an attaché case, and all the dignity she could bear.

Elsa dropped the attaché case by the door, her coat sliding to the floor with it. "Hi, sweetheart!" Anna cried lovingly, relishing in seeing Elsa after her wife worked all day. She flung her arms around Elsa's neck, making the older woman stumble and nearly fall from the sudden tackle attack. Anna immediately leaned up and smothered her with kisses, but all Elsa could do was fight for oxygen.

"Well, Elsa?" Anna asked, cupping Elsa's cheeks. Elsa sucked in air.

Anna gestured towards their apartment. "Say something," she demanded with a nervous laugh.

Elsa didn't look at the apartment. "It's…*gasp*…It's six flights…" She looked down at Anna with wide, accusing, aghast eyes. "Did you know it's six flights?"

Smiling, Anna quickly shook her head in reassurance. "It isn't! It's only five."

Denying Anna's help, Elsa staggered up the step into the room. Her suitcase fell out of her grip onto the floor in front of her, and Elsa soon followed, collapsing face-down on top of it. "What about that big thing hanging outside the building?" she asked weakly, lifting her head.

Anna giggled. "That's not a flight, silly. It's a stoop."

Elsa's forehead fell on the suitcase. "It may _look_ like a stoop…*pant pant*…but it climbs like a flight."

Anna put her hands on her hips, looking down at her wife. "It that _all _you have to say?"

Elsa gasped. "I didn't think I'd get that much out." She turned her head on her cheek so she was looking up at Anna, still heavily breathing. "It didn't seem like six flights when I first saw the apartment." She took a quick breath. "Why is that?"

"You didn't see the apartment. Don't you remember? The woman wasn't home. You saw the third floor apartment."

Elsa rolled her face back onto her forehead, flinging one of her hands up in defeat. "Of course."

Anna walked over Elsa's body to the other side of the apartment, her hands clutched to her chest and her head hanging down. "You don't like it." She turned back towards Elsa, and Elsa saw her eyes beginning to glisten. "You really don't like it."

The blonde scrambled to her feet. "I _do _like it," she said quickly, crossing over to Anna. She turned and squinted at the room. "I'm just waiting for my eyes to clear first."

Anna sighed sadly and stepped closer to her wife. "I expected you to walk in here and say 'wow,'" she said softly, taking Elsa's hand.

Elsa smiled nervously and tightened her hand around Anna's. "I will!" she assured. She took a deep breathe. _Okay. _Elsa looked around the room, her icy blue eyes analyzing the poor paint job, the wholly walls, the crooked floor boards, and every other disheartening detail.

"Wow," she said emotionlessly. Elsa flinched at the tone of her voice. She had tried to convey some form of enthusiasm, fake as it would be in face of their disgusting apartment. She really did.

But apparently what she said was enough for Anna, and she again threw herself around the blonde's neck. "It'll be beautiful, I promise. You just came home too soon." She nuzzled her face into the crook of Elsa's neck.

Elsa chuckled, a sound that reverberated through Anna in a blissful way, and circled her arms around the redhead's waist, pulling her warm body closer. She buried her face in Anna's hair and breathed in her familiar, comforting scent.

"You know, I missed you today," she said softly.

"Did you really?" Anna asked, full of as much hope and excitement as ever.

Elsa nodded into her hair, and she lowered her face so her mouth was by the redhead's ear. Her voice lowered huskily. "Right in the middle of the Monday morning conference I began to feel _sexy_," she growled, playfully nibbling Anna's ear.

Anna giggled and pulled back to face her wife, placing a peck on the edge of her mouth. The blonde caught her lips with her own as Anna pulled her head back, pressing their mouths together hungrily. Anna's fingers immediately tangled in Elsa's already messy hair, and Elsa's hands around Anna's waist began to descend.

Anna opened her mouth when Elsa demanded entrance, and the blonde pressed hard inside. Anna fought back with her own tongue, taken back by Elsa's sudden show of dominance.

Elsa began to move her backwards, and Anna felt her back gently press up against the wall. A toned leg pressed between her thighs, staying a teasing distance away from where she was slowly desiring pressure. She moaned into Elsa's mouth, and she felt her lover smirk against her lips.

"Wait," Anna managed to say, tilting her head away. Not discouraged in the least, Elsa peppered small kisses along her jawline before descending to nibble and suck at the tender spot of her neck.

Anna gasped and nearly forgot what she was trying to say. "W-We have to take a cab b-back to the Plaza Hotel." She yelped when Elsa bit down, seemingly not listening. "We o-only have an hour before *ngh* c-check out time," she tried to say again, gently pushing Elsa away.

Elsa responded by grabbing Anna's wrists and pinning them to the wall on either side of her head. "We can't," she responded, looking Anna in the eye. "We already took two ashtrays and three towels. They're after us," she joked, going in for another kiss.

Anna hummed in bliss, her eyes slipping closed. _You do still love me_, she thought.

Elsa stopped the kiss, leaning her forehead against Anna's and looking into her cerulean eyes. "After six nights at the Plaza? What's the trick?" she laughed.

Anna stared back at Elsa, her face quickly heating up in embarrassment at being caught thinking out loud again. _I really got to keep my mouth shut._ "B-But that was a honeymoon," she sputtered. Elsa raised an eyebrow in amusement, smirking in her trademark lopsided way. "I thought you'd come home tonight, and we'd shake hands and start the marriage or something."

_Shake hands? _Elsa blinked in confusion at her wife's strange suggestion. She had grown to expect Anna to suggest such outlandish things, but they still surprised her every time.

Nonetheless, Elsa leaned back, did a sweeping bow, and extended her hand, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "How do you do…?" she asked in a feign regal tone. Anna rolled her eyes and smacked her hand away.

She grabbed Elsa's tie and yanked her forward, crashing their lips together again. At first confused at being jostled, Elsa was caught off guard when Anna grabbed her chin with the hand that didn't have her tie in a death grip and thrust her tongue into her mouth, making their teeth clash. The harsh treatment was both a punishment for mocking her and an undeniable sign of affection.

Their kiss continued for some minutes, the only noise around them being that of throaty moans.

When they pulled apart for air, Anna pulled Elsa's tie so she was again leaning her forehead against hers. She stared up at her lover, mesmerized by the cherry blush that was now glazed over Elsa's ivory cheeks. Her lips were red and swollen, and her icy blue eyes were half lidded with content.

"My turn to say 'Wow'…For a lawyer you're some good kisser," she giggled, pecking a kiss on Elsa's nose.

Elsa huffed and shook her head, averting her eyes. "For a kisser I'm some good lawyer," she mumbled.

Anna blinked in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?" Elsa turned her head away, but Anna gently grabbed her chin and pulled her back so she could look her in the eye. "Something happened?"

"I-It's not positive yet. The office is supposed to call soon and let me know," she stated, checking her watch.

Anna gasped, pulling her hand away from Elsa's face. "Oh! They called!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

Elsa stared at her, her face the picture of confusion. "What—?"

"I-I mean they're calling," she clarified, gesturing wildly with her hands.

"When—?"

"Now—They're on the phone now!"

Elsa turned around, looking around the room wildly. "Where—?"

"There!" she yelled, pointing at the phone on the floor by the window.

Elsa rushed to the phone. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

Anna threw up her hands in mock surrender. "I forgot! You kissed me and got me all…you know!"

Elsa fumbled with the phone in her nervousness before gripping it to her ear. "Jack?...Yeah!...Listen, what did—Oh, very funny." Elsa looked at Anna, her face unamused. "'For a lawyer, I'm some good kisser'…Come on, tell me…Well?..." Elsa's face broke out into a wide grin. Feeling left out, Anna came over and pressed her ear to the other side of the phone with little success of hearing anything.

Elsa turned away from her, her grin still plastered on her face. "You're kidding? The whole thing?"

Anna shook Elsa's arm impatiently. "What? What's going on?"

Elsa's grin got impossibly wider. "Oh, Jack, baby, I love you!" she exclaimed. Seeing Elsa's happiness, Anna grinned as well, playfully poking the blonde in the side to try and get her to tell her what happened. Now giggling, Elsa vainly tried to scoot away and shrug Anna off, but the short line of the phone kept her by the wall. "What do you mean, nervous?...I passed the bar, didn't I?...Yes, I'll go over everything tonight."

Anna's antics stopped. _Tonight?_ she thought sadly. She moved away from Elsa and towards the ladder in the middle of the room.

Oblivious to Anna's sudden change in emotion, Elsa continued her conversation. "I'll meet you at eight o' clock in the morning. We'll go over the briefs." She paused and bit her lip in excitement, pacing with the phone in her hand. "Hey, what kind of a tie do I wear? I don't know. I thought maybe something flowing like Oliver Wendell Holmes'," she said, speaking quickly. Anna climbed up one side of the ladder and laid her face on her hands on the top rung, watching the blonde. "…Right."

Elsa hung up the phone and turned to Anna, her face shining. "Did you hear?" she asked excitedly, moving towards the ladder.

"W-What about tonight?" Anna asked slowly.

Elsa stopped and puffed out her chest. "I've got to be in court tomorrow morning…_I've got my first case!"_

Anna's attitude didn't change at hearing the good news, her head still in her hands. "What about tonight?" she asked again.

Unperturbed by Anna's lack of response, Elsa climbed up the opposite side of the ladder, meeting face to face with Anna on the top rung. "I'll have to go over the briefs. Marshall has to be in Washington tomorrow, and he wants me to take over…with Jack…but it's really my case." Anna had lifted her face by this point, and Elsa grabbed her hands. "Oh, Anna, baby, I'm going to be a lawyer!" she exclaimed, hugging Anna over the ladder.

Anna laughed at being pulled into such a tight, awkward hug. When Elsa released her, she cupped Elsa's cheek with one of her hands, smiling. "That's wonderful, Elsa," she said lovingly. Then her demeanor fell slightly. "…I just thought we were going to spend tonight together."

Elsa grabbed her face and pulled her close for a quick peck on her lips. "We'll spend tomorrow night together," she reassured. She climbed down the ladder and strode back towards the door where she dropped her attaché case. "I hope I brought those affidavits."

Anna turned on the ladder to face Elsa's back. "_I_ brought a black nightgown," she stated coyly, trying to coax Elsa out of work.

Elsa clicked open her attaché case on the floor, put on her black-rimmed reading glasses, and began shuffling through papers, her mind now turned completely legal. "Marshall had everything laid out when I was at the office…" Anna got down from the ladder and went into the kitchen. She dug out the black nightgown she was talking about from one of the remaining suitcases and held it over her seductively. Elsa ignored her. "…It looks simple enough. A furrier is suing a woman for non-payment of bills."

Puckering her lip in frustration, Anna sighed and threw the black nightgown over one of their suitcases, trying a different tactic. "I was going to cook you spaghetti with the white clam sauce…," she teased, her voice rising an octave. Elsa stood up, indulged in reading the paper she had in her hands. Anna cocked her jaw in annoyance. "…in a bikini," she finished irritably.

"We're representing the furrier. He made four specially tailored coats for this woman on Park Avenue. Now she doesn't want the coats," Elsa explained while she bent down to pick up a stack of papers that were stapled together.

Anna stripped off her shirt, shivering slightly in the chilly room. Seeing that Elsa was _still _ignoring her, Anna slipped the black nightgown straps on. "Then I found this great thing on Eighth Street," she explained while slipping the lacy gown over her head. "It's a crossword puzzle with dirty words." Once in the dress, Anna struck the most seductive pose she could muster.

Elsa continued to be oblivious. She quickly flipped through the stapled pages before stopping and reading, her brow furrowed as her eyes quickly scanned the page. "But the furrier can't get rid of the coat. She's only four foot eight. He'd have to sell them to a rich little girl."

Anna put her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes in defeat. She looked at her lover through half-lidded, annoyed eyes. "Then I was going to put on a record and do an authentic Cambodian fertility dance," she stated in a monotone voice, slightly shaking her shoulders.

Still no effect on the blonde.

Elsa flipped through another paper. "The only trouble is, he didn't have a signed…con...tract…" The blonde finally looked up. Elsa blinked and hung her jaw open in confusion as Anna shimmied towards the ladder, lifting her dress up and tossing it over her shoulders like a cape. She bent down and spun on one foot towards Elsa.

The redhead squeaked in surprise when she found Elsa staring at her dance, and she fell back on her bum, hitting her head on the bottom step of the ladder. "Ow…" she groaned, rubbing the back of her head and sitting up on her elbows.

Elsa let the hand holding her papers drop to her side. She looked away and wet her lips, looking like she had just seen someone grow a third head. She turned back and pointed a finger at Anna. "What are you doing?" she asked slowly, almost afraid of the answer.

Anna flushed scarlet. She sat up quickly, bringing her "cape" back to her front so she could cover her torso (even though the lacy, revealing gown did little to help hide anything). She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. "I'm trying to turn you on and you're summing up for the jury. The whole marriage is over."

Dropping her papers, Elsa sighed and moved towards Anna, crouching down and taking her hand. "Oh, Anna, honey, I'm sorry." Elsa gracefully twisted and sat down next to her wife, wrapping her arm around her and pulling her to rest on her shoulder. Anna lowered her hands and leaned into the gesture, her head under Elsa's chin. "I guess I'm pretty excited, but you want us to be rich and famous, don't you?" Elsa asked with a teasing smile, kissing Anna's temple.

Anna looked up and pouted. "During the day. At night I want you to be here and sexy," she said huskily, securely grabbing Elsa's collar in both hands.

"I will—umf!" Anna pulled Elsa in for another hot kiss. Elsa's eyes widened and she waved her hands, struggling not to fall on top of the redhead.

Elsa gently pushed Anna's face away. "—just as soon as 'Birnbaum versus Gump' is over." With her grip still on Elsa's collar, Anna smirked and retaliated by throwing a leg over Elsa's waist and pushing her backwards, effectively straddling her lap and pressing her back against the rungs of the ladder as she resumed their make-out.

Elsa again managed to (regretfully) push Anna's face away. Eye's half-lidded with lust, Anna kept her face close and looped her arms around Elsa's neck when the blonde resumed talking. "Tomorrow night is your night. W-We'll do whatever you want," Elsa quickly compromised, crushing the urge to shiver when Anna's warm breath danced over her face.

Anna smirked. "Something wild, insane, and crazy?" she asked softly, leaning her forehead against Elsa's and looking down into her eyes.

Elsa pecked her lips. "I promise."

Anna giggled and cocked her head in curiosity. "Like what?" she asked.

Elsa blinked. "Well…" she said, looking to the side and thinking about something crazy that Anna (the epitome of crazy) would want to do. She snapped her eyes back to her wife's. "I'll come home early, and we'll wall-paper each other," she laughed.

Anna laughed heartily. "Oh, Elsa, that's awesome!" she exclaimed, diving in for yet another kiss. This time the blonde participated for a few minutes, morphing her mouth to Anna's as they explored each other. Anna pulled away for a second, looking pleadingly into Elsa's eyes. "Can't we do it tonight?"

Elsa shook her head. "I gotta work." Anna's lip pouted and she humphed in dissatisfaction. Elsa laughed lightly and littered kisses over her face. "You're cute when you pout." Anna giggled as Elsa continued her barrage of kisses before stopping and in her eyes. "But I don't see why I can't spare a few minutes," she added with a loopy grin.

Anna playfully smacked Elsa's shoulder (to which the blonde laughed) and pressed against Elsa for a searing kiss that she hoped would leave the blonde dazed enough to forget about work.

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**I've always envisioned Kristoff and Elsa both being very sassy people. Love to write them. And Anna would so get her and Elsa stuck in a crappy appartmentXD**

**Really curious about what y'all think. I really like this idea but don't know if there are any out there who will as well:'c**

**PLEASE REVIEW Your reviews give me super strength!**


	2. Snowing in the Bathtub

**Hellooo beautiful people!**

**Thank you , U-Madder, Unslightlyviewings, and brofist1412 for reviewing! I was really not sure about writing this fic, but you guys convinced me to continue:3 (****I got really excited about all the feedback-really wasn't expecting that much-so I whipped out this chapter for y'all!)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen or Neil Simmons.**

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"I already told you, Anna. We can't do it tonight. I've got to work," Elsa re-stated _again _as she wiped paint chips and dust off of her work pants. _These were my good pants too_, she thought bitterly, craning her neck to see that the dust had coated her bum white. Anna sat on one of the middle rungs of the ladder, still in her black gown.

Elsa looked around the room, walking back towards her dropped papers. "Now where can I sit so I don't ruin these pants?" she asked.

Anna stood up while Elsa bent down, taking off her glasses and placing them with the affidavits back into the attaché case. "The furniture will be here by five. They promised."

Elsa checked her watch. "Five?" she asked, surprised. She looked up at Anna. "It's five thirty," she stated, crossing to the bedroom stairs. She gestured towards their empty room. "What do we do, sleep in Bloomingdale's tonight?"

Anna folded her hands behind her back. "They'll be here, Elsa. They're probably stuck in traffic."

Elsa opened the door to their room, glanced inside, and then quickly closed the door. "And what about tonight?" she asked. "I've got a case in court tomorrow." She opened the bedroom door again, eyeing the splintered floorboards. _No way in hell am I sleeping on that._ "Maybe we should check into a hotel," she suggested, slumping and placing a hand on her hip.

Anna crossed over to the blonde and hugged her arm. "We just checked _out _of a hotel, Elsa," she pleaded. Seeing that her words held no weight in changing Elsa's mind, Anna roughly released her arm. "I don't care if the furniture _doesn't _come. I'm sleeping in our apartment _tonight_," she stated, moving back down the steps.

"Where?" Elsa asked, looking back at her. She quickly opened and closed the bathroom door, glancing inside. "There's only room for one in the bathtu—"

Elsa paused. She turned and looked back in the bathroom again, analyzing the room for a long minute. "Anna, where's the bathtub?"

Anna hesitated to answer. "There is no bathtub," she quickly and softly replied, twiddling her thumbs.

Elsa slowly turned, her hand still on the door knob and her body half-leaning into the bathroom. "No bathtub?" she asked slowly.

"There's a shower…"

"How am I going to take a bath?"

"Y-You won't take a bath. You'll take a shower."

Elsa closed the door, keeping her gaze level with Anna's. "I don't like showers. I like baths. Anna, how am I going to take a bath?" she asked with a mocking laugh.

Anna looked at her wife through half-lidded eyes and cocked her jaw. "You'll lie down in the shower and hang your feet over the sink," she stated in a monotone voice. Elsa scoffed and unrolled her shirt sleeves, and Anna plopped a hand on her hip, leaning sideways against the wall by the bedroom stairs. "I'm sorry there's no bathtub, Elsa."

Elsa closed the bathroom door and hopped down the stairs, striding across the room. _Of all the nights…_ She shivered. "It's freezing in here," she stated, rubbing her arms. "Isn't there any heat?"

"Of course there's heat. We've got a radiator," she said, pointing up to a rusted, flaking construction of metal.

Elsa placed her hand on the radiator and recoiled, staring at Anna. "The _radiator's _the coldest thing in the room."

Anna felt the cold radiator as well. "I-It's probably the boiler," she tried to explain. "It's probably off in the whole building," she attested with a nervous laugh.

Elsa walked towards the door. "No, it was warm coming up the stairs." She opened the door and leaned into the hall. "It's nice and warm out here," she said, turning to look at Anna while rubbing her hands in the warm atmosphere.

"Maybe it's because the apartment is empty," Anna tried again, fiddling with her wedding ring on her finger.

Elsa leaned back inside and jutted her thumb towards the hallway. "The _hall _is empty too, but it's warm out there."

There was an awkward pause before Anna clapped her hands together, a nervous smile on her face. "W-Well…" She moved to the stove in the kitchen. "It'll be alright once I get a fire going," she quickly said, stopping to pick up the pile of logs she had dumped earlier.

Elsa scoffed. "A fire?" She walked towards the phone. "You'd have to keep the flame going night and day." She picked the phone off the receiver and began dialing. "I'll call the landlord."

Anna stood up. "He's not home," she stated.

Elsa put the phone in the crook of her neck, still dialing absentmindedly. "Where is he?" she asked.

"In Florida."

Elsa stopped dialing. The phone slowly slid from under her neck into the crook of her elbow as she slowly turned her head.

"T-There's a handy man that comes Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays," Anna stuttered.

Elsa placed the phone back on the receiver. "You mean we freeze on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays?" she asked sarcastically.

Anna rolled her eyes. "He'll be here in the morning."

"And what'll we do tonight? I've a case in the morning," Elsa stated, waving an arm for emphasis.

Anna crossed her arms, standing in front of her wife. "Will you stop saying it like you always have a case in court in the morning? This is your first one," she demanded.

Now it was Elsa's turned to roll her eyes. "Well, what'll we do?"

Anna's face turned red with anger. "The furniture _will_ be here. In the meantime _I_ can light the stove, and _you_ can sit over the fire with your law books and a shawl like Abraham Lincoln!" she yelled, storming past Elsa towards the kitchen.

Elsa blinked in surprise before turning towards her wife's retreating form, slightly giggling. "Is that supposed to be funny?" she asked with her lopsided smile.

Anna turned around, her bottom lip jutting out in a pout while she tried to still look mad. "No. It was supposed to be mean. It just came out funny."

Smirking, Elsa turned from her wife and began inspecting the windows, feeling around the edges of the once white frame and wincing whenever her finger caught a splinter.

Anna struck a match and held it under the log that was protruding from the small stove. She held the small flame under the large piece of wood, frustrated that it wouldn't light. She glanced over her shoulder at the blonde. "What are you doing?" she asked, still failing to light the log in the stove.

Elsa didn't spare her a glance. "I'm checking to see if the windows are closed."

Anna went back to concentrating on her tiny flame. "It's closed. I looked."

Elsa rubbed her arms again. "Then why is it windy in here?"

Anna grimaced when her match burned to the end, taking the skin on the tips of her fingers with it. She stood and turned towards Elsa. "I don't feel a draft," she stated before quickly sucking on the tips of her burnt fingers.

Elsa moved away from the window, irritation again coming off her in waves. "I didn't say _draft_. I said _wind_. There's a brisk, northeasterly _wind_ blowing in this room."

Anna took her fingers out of her mouth and crossed her arms over the gown she was still wearing. "You don't have to get sarcastic."

Elsa moved into the kitchen. "I'm not getting sarcastic. I'm getting chapped lips."

Anna swiveled her head around the room. "How could there be wind in a closed room?" she asked. She stopped and looked at Elsa who currently had her head faced upwards.

"How's this for an answer?" the blonde replied, pointing up. "There's a hole in the skylight."

Anna looked up as well, her mouth forming a small O when she saw the large area of missing glass that was cracked out of the skylight. "Oh…I didn't see that before. Did you?"

Elsa looked back down at Anna, her face a scowl. "I didn't see the _apartment _before." She turned and began climbing the ladder to get a better look at the hole.

"All right, Elsa, don't get upset," Anna said defensively, following her and climbing the opposite side of the ladder. "I'm sure it'll be fixed. We could plug it up with something for tonight."

"How?" Elsa asked, looking down at Anna and gesturing to the hole high above their heads. "That's twenty feet high. You'd have to fly over in a plane and _drop _something in."

"Well…It's only for one night," Anna said, trying to ease her wife. "And it's not _that_ cold." She began to descend the ladder, picking up her tossed fur coat.

Elsa looked at Anna incredulously. "In _February_? Do you know what it's like at three o'clock in the morning in February? Ice-cold freezing."

Anna threw her coat over her shoulders and put her arms through the sleeves. "It's not going to be freezing. I called the weather bureau. It's going to be cloudy with a light sn—" Her eyes widened and she threw her hands over her mouth, stopping her words abruptly in her mouth.

"What?" Elsa asked slowly. Anna turned away. "A light _what_?"

Dropping her hands, Anna slowly turned to face Elsa who was now standing only an arm's length away. "…Snow…" she said quietly.

"_Snow?!_" Elsa cried, her eyes widening and her voice rising to a squeak. "It's going to snow tonight?...In _here_?"

Anna gently grasped Elsa's shoulders. "They're wrong as often as they're right," she pleaded.

Elsa shook her off, beginning to pace. "I'm going to be shoveling snow in my own living room," she whined, slapping her arm against her side and rubbing her face with a hand.

"It's just a little hole—"

Elsa turned on her. "With _that_ wind it could blow six-foot drifts in the bathroom! Honestly, Anna, I don't see how you can be so calm about all this!"

Anna flung her hands up. "Well, what is it you want me to do?!" she yelled back.

"Freak out, like me! It's only n-natural…" Elsa ended with her voice cracking and going back to normal volume.

Anna paused and arched an eyebrow in confusion. _Only na—Ohhh I see._ She smirked, propping a hand on her hip. _Only **natural**._

Sliding off her coat, Anna sauntered over to Elsa, swaying her hips in a slow, methodical way. Her smirk grew when Elsa wet her lips and followed Anna's hips with her eyes.

Anna stopped in front of Elsa, their bodies centimeters apart as Elsa stared down into Anna's darkened eyes. Elsa took a step backwards, feeling her body fly and her arms windmill as she tripped over a paint can. Her body hit the wooden floor with a dull thump, and when she opened her eyes, she saw Anna crawling up her legs, slowly making her way to her face. Her normal thought process melted at the seductive sight.

It was now that Elsa's mind processed the gown Anna was wearing. The thin, lacy lingerie ghosted over her soft skin, accentuating her toned, curvy body. Elsa opened her mouth to say something, but all that came out was a small choking noise.

Anna hummed at her gawking face, running a finger over the buttons of her shirt as she crawled completely on top of her. Anna let her hands run down Elsa's sides, and she lifted her shirt gently, glancing down to admire the tone of her stomach as she let her left hand run down to the top of her belt.

The redhead glanced up to see Elsa's face, which was slowly succumbing to her ministrations and morphing into bliss. Anna's eyes darkened seeing her wife stuck in such a haze. Her hands made quick work of the buttons, peeling open the white shirt to reveal Elsa's porcelain skin. Anna's eyes raked her wife's body, over her stomach and supple chest.

Anna felt Elsa's hands grab her shoulders to ease her off, but she grabbed Elsa's wrists and pinned them to the floor by her sides. Elsa was saying something, but Anna couldn't hear. She bent down and placed wet kisses over Elsa's stomach and up her chest. When she made it to her face, she leaned next to Elsa's ear and breathed out, savoring the shiver that ran through her wife.

"I've got a better idea. _I_'ll keep you warm," she husked out, gently kissing the tender skin below her ear. "And there's no charge for _electricity_."

Anna heard Elsa growl and felt herself be flipped roughly onto her back, Elsa over her. She gasped lightly in shock, but she was quickly silenced by Elsa's mouth. The blonde's lips began massaging Anna's, who slowly began to reciprocate, smirking into the kiss. Anna reached up and gently raked her nails down Elsa's stomach, feeling the toned muscles jump, dance, and shiver under her touch. Elsa pulled away from the kiss and moaned.

"I can see I haven't got much of a law career ahead of me," Elsa rasped out before resuming their kiss. Anna tangled her fingers into the silky strands of Elsa's hair and pulled her down to bring their bodies closer together. The almost electrical sensation that Elsa's nerves received from the full nearly bare body contact overwhelmed her mind. She balanced herself on her elbows and shuddered when Anna started to grind their cores together.

Anna smirked and broke the kiss for air, triumphant in having finally dazed her wife out of work to spend the night with her. She moved her hands down and began to work on the blonde's belt.

Elsa took the opportunity of their lip locking break to again explore her wife's freckled neck and shoulders, savoring the taste of her soft skin. Her mouth left a wet trail along her neck, eliciting a moan and a full body shiver in the girl underneath her. She nibbled under her jaw and sucked on her pulse point. The sensation made Anna's hands falter and her hips thrust upwards, making them both moan loudly with desire before they locked lips again, their tongues dancing. Anna's body lit up with pleasure, and she began to feel a warm, tingly sensation stem from her toes and fingers and collect in her lower stomach where the warmth pooled into a radiating heat.

_BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ_

With a groan, Anna broke away panting from the kiss, her mind still in a blissful daze. "The bed. Please, God, let that be the bed," she managed to say between breaths, regretfully crawling out from under Elsa and staggering towards the door.

Elsa groaned and rolled over on her back, rubbing her face while trying to will away her arousal. _God, what that girl does to me. _

Anna buzzed the doorbell and flung open the door. "Helllooooo! Bloomingdale's?" she yelled.

"Surprise!" called back a distant female voice.

Anna spun towards Elsa, her face white. "Oh no."

Elsa staggered to her feet. "What's wrong?" she asked concernedly, ignoring the attractiveness of Anna's still blushing state.

Anna leaned on the door-frame, rubbing her face with a hand. "Please let it be a woman delivering the furniture," she groaned.

"A woman?" Elsa asked, stepping closer.

"Anna?" called the female voice again.

Anna sighed heavily, dropping her hand and looking at Elsa. "It's my mother."

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**Oh boy. Snow, no bathtub, and Mother/Mother-in-law? Never a good signXD**

**And yes. Elsa loves her baths. RIP bath tub...**

**REVIEW PLEASE:)**


	3. Oh Mother

**Yo people!**

**Thank you , Unslightlyviewings, NightsPoison (awesome name btw), U-Madder, and ForeverTwatDarius for reviewing! Your words are infinitely inspiring!**

**You guys being awesome + me having free time = another chapter:D**

**The chapters I've decided are going to vary widely in length (the first one was nearly 7,000 words and this one only 4,000). So don't be too shocked if one is super short (just depends on what's going on)**

**Anyways, I had a LOT of fun writing this chapter (I just about died writing it), so I hope you enjoy it too!****  
**

**BTW: Elsa and Anna are living in NY**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen or Neil Simmons**

* * *

Eyes widening and mouth gawking in disbelief, Elsa turned back towards the center of the room with a loud groan. "Well, now we know one of our neighbors is a practicing Satanist," she bit out over her shoulder, flinging up her arms. She turned on her heel towards Anna, her face a scowl while she gestured towards the door. "Why else would Satin incarnate be here?"

"Elsa! My mother is gentle, kind woman—an _angel_," Anna defended, taking off her black gown and searching for her tossed yellow shirt. Finding it, she quickly slid it on, thankful for the long sleeves.

Elsa began buttoning up her shirt. "Anna, you have got to get rid of her. I've got a case in court tomorrow, and I really don't want to deal with her bullshit right now."

Anna picked up the canvas sheet by the ladder and balled it up before throwing it behind the remaining stack of suitcases. She then ran to the ladder and began picking up loose paintbrushes and throwing them in a messy pile. "It's ugly in here without furniture, isn't it? She's gonna hate it, won't she?" she asked concernedly.

Elsa sighed. "And now your ignoring me."

"Anna? Dear, where are you?" called Mrs. Summers' voice from the stairs.

Anna rushed to the door. "Up here, mom! Top floor!" she yelled. She rushed back into the room, past Elsa, and continued her fast cleaning.

Elsa shook her head while she watched Anna's nervous tidying. "Perfect. Just Perfect. How am I going to work tonight?" the blonde said under her breath.

"She'll think this is the way we're going to live. Like a couple of crazy gypsies hiding in post-apocalyptic New York," Anna complained, her voice dripping with anxiety.

Elsa slowly walked across the room, her hands in her pockets. "Maybe I should sleep in the office," she mumbled.

Anna continued to ignore her wife. Shivering, she looked up from her work and surveyed the apartment, a look of apprehension on her face. "She'll hate the place. She'll freeze to death in here. She'll curl up in her coat and freeze to death like a dog in the street."

Elsa leaned against the wall by the door, her arms crossed over her chest. "I don't get you, Anna. Five minutes ago, this place was the Garden of Eden. Now it's suddenly a concentration camp."

Anna strode over to Elsa, hugging her arms for warmth. "She doesn't understand, Elsa," Anna exasperated, her eyes wide. "She has a different set of values. She's _practical_. She's not young like us."

Elsa snorted and leaned off the wall. "Well I'm twenty-six and cold as hell."

"Anna?" yelled up Anna's mother.

Anna leaned out the open door. "One more flight, ma!" Anna leaned back in and grabbed Elsa by the shoulders when she began walking away, spinning her around to face her. "Elsa, promise me one thing," she pleaded. "Don't tell her about the rent. If she asks, tell her you're not quite sure yet."

Elsa's brow furrowed and her face scrunched in disbelief, looking down into the pleading eyes of her wife. "Not sure what my rent is? Anna, I _have _to know what my rent is. I'm a college graduate and first in my class."

Anna shook her shoulders, her eyes widening impossibly larger. "Can't you lie a little? For me? Just this once? You don't have to tell her it's a hundred and twenty-five dollars."

Elsa closed her eyes and sighed in defeat. When she looked back at her wife, she gently removed her hands from her shoulders. "Fine. How much is it then?"

"Sixty dollars."

"What?" Elsa cried.

"Sixty-five?" Anna asked again, subconsciously raising her shoulders as her voice rose to a pitiful squeak.

"Anna—"

"Seventy-five alright?" Anna decided. "Seventy-five dollars and sixty-three cents…including gas and electricity," she added quickly. Anna rolled her hands together nervously. "She'll believe that, won't she?"

Smirking at her wife's nervousness, Elsa rolled her eyes halfheartedly, holding Anna's hands in hers. "Anyone would believe that. _I'm _the apparent idiot that swallowed the hundred twenty-five," she said, finishing with a reassuring smile.

Anna smiled back before she looked over at their open door. "She's taking a long time." Anna turned back to Elsa, her eyes again filled with anxiety. "Do you think she fell?" she asked, pivoting towards the door but keeping eye contact with Elsa while she waited for an answer.

Elsa held up her hands in a sign of prayer, her eyes scrunching together while she quickly mouthed words. Scowling, Anna smacked her hands down. "What?" Elsa asked innocently. "Your _angel_ of a mother might finally become an angel."

"Elsa!"

"Well I can't lie about the stairs!" Elsa cried defensively. "She's going to figure out we live in the stratosphere all by herself."

Anna rolled her eyes and leaned out the door. "What is taking her so long?" she mumbled to herself.

"Maybe we should toss her a broom. It _is _her basic transportation."

Anna sighed heavily and trudged back to her wife. "Could you at least _try _to act like you like her?" she whined.

Elsa stared at her with wide eyes. "_Like _her? Anna, the woman tried to slip me arsenic at our wedding!"

Anna reached up and adjusted Elsa's blue tie. "You can still try."

"Anna, I gave her a cemetery plot for her birthday. I'm pretty sure me putting on a smile isn't going to fool her."

Suddenly, Anna's mother fell through the door, gasping for air. She was a woman in her late fifties, pretty, but hadn't bothered to look after herself for the past few years. She wore a large fur coat and hat that covered her short, plump frame. Her clothes were old, but she carried about herself an air of social superiority even as she sucked in air through her wide, wrinkled mouth.

Anna turned quickly and caught her grey-haired mother just as she slumped through the door. "Mother!" she cried in surprise.

Mrs. Summers weakly lifted her head to look at her daughter. "Oh…Oh…I can't…I can't breathe."

"Take it easy, mom," Anna cooed, patting her mother's back.

"I can't…catch my breath."

Anna smiled and laughed. "You should have rested, silly."

Mrs. Summers looked at her with wide eyes. "I did…but there were always more stairs," she said forlornly, staring off into the distance like she was re-seeing some traumatic incident.

Eyes filled with concern, Anna looked over her mother to Elsa. "Elsa, help her," she directed, nodding her head down towards her panting mother.

Elsa reluctantly stepped forward and Anna began to lean her mother into Elsa's arms. "_You!_" Mrs. Summers cried, turning in Anna's arms and glaring accusingly at Elsa. She huddled closer to Anna and away from Elsa. "Don't touch me! I'm allergic to _scum_," she spat.

Elsa growled, her ears turning red and her outstretched hands that were going to hold the woman clenching into fists.

Anna sighed before she turned her mother to guide her into the room, nudging her forward. "Come on, mom. Watch the step."

"More stairs!" Mrs. Summers cried hysterically, burying her face in Anna's chest like a child.

Nonetheless, Anna was able to nudge her mother forward. "You want some water?" she asked.

"Later," Mrs. Summers choked out, turning her face from Anna's chest to get easier access to air. "I can't swallow yet."

"Here, sit down," Anna directed, guiding her mother to the ladder and sitting her down on one of the middle rungs.

"Oh dear," Mrs. Summers groaned as she slowly bent her sore legs and sat down.

"It's not _that_ high, ma," Anna stated, watching her mother lean her head back and close her eyes from exhaustion.

"I know, dear. It's not bad really." Mrs. Summers put her hand over her heart, grasping at her fur coat. "What is it, nine flights?" she asked between breaths.

"Five."

Mrs. Summers groaned and leaned her head back, her eyes again closed. "I didn't think I'd make it."

"And what a shame that would've been," came Elsa's sarcastic voice from beside Anna. Anna jumped slightly, startled by her wife's sudden appearance at her side.

Mrs. Summers straightened her back and glared at Elsa, her cerulean eyes a carbon copy of Anna's. "If I'd known the people on the third floor, I'd gone to visit them instead…"

"Elsa," Anna reprimanded, turning on the blonde with a scowl. "Just…go read the paper or something," she commanded, flinging an arm in the direction of the kitchen.

Elsa put up her hands in mock surrender, her face a mask of innocence. "Oh gladly, dearest. I just _love_ those cross-word puzzles and scrabble games on the back. Did you know that mother-in-law scrambled is 'woman Hitler?'"

"Elsa!"

Elsa waved off her angry wife. "I'm going. I'm going," she grumbled, walked towards the kitchen area.

Anna turned back to her mother (who was now breathing normally) and plastered on a courteous smile. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise, mom."

Mrs. Summers smiled and straightened her shoulders, her ego thoroughly stroked by the small compliment. "It was no bother, dear. Well, I really had no intention of coming up, but I had a luncheon in Westchester and I thought, since it's on my way home, I might as well drop in for a few minutes."

Anna blinked. "On your way home to New Jersey?"

Mrs. Summers nodded graciously. "Yes. I just came over the Whitestone Bridge and down the Major Deegan Highway and now I'll cut across town and on to the Henry Hudson Parkway and up to the George Washington Ridge. It's no extra trouble really."

Elsa groaned from the kitchen. "So _glad_ you could make it."

Anna ignored her wife's comment. "Really, ma, you shouldn't have come all this way," she said concernedly, worried about her mother's old constitution.

Mrs. Summers waved her hand dismissively. "Oh please, darling. I'm as fit as a fiddle. Women in our family age like fine wine, you know."

Elsa again chimed in from the kitchen. "Anna, yes. _You_ age more like milk."

"Elsa!" Anna angrily called, turning to glare at her wife in the kitchen who was currently looking around vainly for a glass. She turned back to her mother. "Though this visit was fun, mom, we were going to ask you over on Friday."

"Friday," Mrs. Summers repeated. "Good. I'll be here Friday." She glanced at the silver watch on her wrist. "I'm not going to stay now, though. I know you must be very busy."

Elsa walked over to stand behind Anna. "As a matter of fact—" the blonde began.

"No!" Anna quickly interrupted, shooting her wife a glanced glare. "We're not busy, are we, _Elsa_?" she asked through gritted teeth, her tone daring Elsa to say otherwise. Elsa glared in response and growled lightly.

Mrs. Summers stood up, oblivious to the silent argument going on between the couple. "Besides," the old woman began. "Aunt Bulba is ringing the bell for me in ten minutes…Just one good look around, that's all." She glared at Elsa. "I'm not sure I'm coming back."

Anna ripped her gaze from her wife and hugged her mother's arm. "I wish you could have come an hour later, mom. After the furniture arrives."

"Or never," Elsa grumbled.

Mrs. Summers didn't hear Elsa's comment. "Don't worry," she chuckled. "I've got a marvelous imagination."

Standing up, the plump woman turned around in a slow circle, surveying the room for the first time. Her expression quickly turned from smiling and optimistic to gawking and aghast.

"Well…?" Anna asked hopefully.

Mrs. Summers turned and glared at Elsa accusingly. "This was _your_ idea wasn't it?" she spat acidly.

Anna's jaw fell open and her eyes widened. "Mom—!"

"Oh _yes_," Elsa drawled, stepping forwards with a fake smile on her face. "And guess what else? We're going to put a big ol' picture of your face right on the wall." Elsa's smile fell and her brow burrowed into a scowl. "We'll hang it right over the stove to scare the kids away from the fire."

Anna turned on her wife, her face still gawking (if not more so). "Elsa—!"

Mrs. Summers huffed loudly, straightening her posture and tilting her head up, trying and failing to look at the taller blonde condescendingly down her nose. "Well, I see my daughter at least tidied the place up. All the _rats_ seem to be gone excluding the one I'm looking at."

Elsa clasped her hands together. "Yes, they threw themselves in the traps when you reached the door."

"I'm so sorry about that. Were they relatives of yours?"

"Yeah. In-laws."

"**STOP!**" Anna yelled, silencing the two. Elsa and Mrs. Summers both looked blinkingly at the fuming girl, her face nearly as red as her hair. Anna's fists clenched hard at her sides as she struggled to restrain herself from hitting them both, her knuckles turning white and her nails biting into the skin of her palms.

Satisfied that she got their attention, Anna exhaled deeply through her nose, calming herself. "Mom," Anna began, her face now its normal tan. "This apartment was _my_ idea, okay?"

Mrs. Summers blinked, smoothing the wrinkles in her coat nervously. "O-Oh really? Well, dear, it's…i-it's uh…it's very…"

"You hate it," Anna stated simply, her face falling sadly.

"No no!" Mrs. Summers reassured quickly, shaking her hands. "It's…," she glanced quickly about the room, "It's a charming apartment."

Anna shook her head. "It's not your kind of apartment. I knew you wouldn't like it."

Mrs. Summers took Anna's hands in hers, smiling tenderly at her daughter. "I love it, darling."

Anna looked up, her wide, child-like eyes full of hope. "Do you really?"

Mrs. Summers nodded vigorously. "Very much! It's very cute…a-and there's so much you can do with it—"

"I knew you hated it."

"Come on, Anna, give me a chance. At least let me see the whole apartment."

"This _is _the whole apartment."

"I-It's a nice, large room," Mrs. Summers weakly complimented after an awkward pause.

Anna's head perked up. "There's a bedroom!" she said excitedly.

"Where?"

Elsa sat on a low peg on the ladder, placing an elbow on her knee and leaning her face on her hand. "It's one flight up," she stated.

Anna rolled her eyes, dragging her mother across the room. "It's four little steps," she clarified, beginning to ascend the steps. "See one-two-three-f—careful, ma, you'll fall!" Anna cried, catching her mother when she slipped on the third step.

Elsa snorted, turning her head to watch the two advance towards the bedroom. "Maybe then you can finally use that birthday present I gave you."

"Elsa!"

Mrs. Summers glanced over her shoulder. "I am not going to dignify you with a response, _heathen_."

"You just responded."

"HERE's the bedroom, mother," Anna said through gritted teeth, hoping to prevent another argument as she roughly nudged her mother towards the room.

Her plan worked. Mrs. Summers leaned into the small door Anna opened. "Through there?" she asked, pointing inside.

Anna scratched her neck nervously. "N-No. _In_ there. That's the bedroom…It's really just a dressing room, but I'm going to use it as a bedroom."

Mrs. Summers looked up at Anna curiously. "And you can just put a bed in there?"

"Yep."

"How?"

Anna cocked her jaw, nodding reassurance to herself while she averted her mother's gaze. "It'll fit. I-I measured the room."

"A double bed?"

"No, an oversized single."

Elsa's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She slowly turned her head to look at Anna who was currently staring at the blonde, biting her lip. _What the hell?_

"O-Oh…how nice," Mrs. Summers stuttered, still examining the splintered room. She turned to Anna. "And where will _Elsa _sleep?" she asked, spitting out Elsa's name like it held a foul taste in her mouth. "Under a rock somewhere with the rest of her kind?"

"With me," Anna answered simply, ignoring her mother's other comments.

"In an oversized single?" Elsa cried incredulously from her seat on the ladder, her hands falling into her lap.

"I'm _positive_ we'll be comfortable," Anna said silkily, winking at Elsa suggestively.

Mrs. Summers leaned out of the bedroom and hugged her daughter's arm. "I-It's a wonderful idea, darling," she said with halfhearted enthusiasm.

"Thanks," Anna replied with a gleaming smile.

Mrs. Summers turned back to the bedroom. "Except you can't get to the closet," she stated, pointing to the small door in the far corner of the room.

"Yeah you can."

"How?"

"Just climb over the bed," Anna said with a cheery shrug of her shoulders.

"Oh…how clever." Mrs. Summer's released her daughter's arm and held her hands to her chest.

Anna smiled and hopped down the steps, striding towards the ladder. "Everything's just temporary," she explained, climbing up the side opposite of where Elsa was sitting. She leaned her head on her arms on the top rung. "You know what they say: a house won't really take shape until the bride's own personality becomes more clearly defined."

Mrs. Summers glanced down at Elsa. "I think it's _the bride_ right now." Elsa glared back.

Mrs. Summers huffed and opened the bathroom door, leaning in. "What's in here…? Oh, the bathroom." She leaned out, looking at Anna questioningly. "No bathtub?"

Elsa slowly turned and looked up at Anna, her eyebrows arched high and a smug look of _I told you so _plastered on her face. Anna groaned and rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Summers closed the bathroom door and climbed carefully down the stairs before walking across the room towards the kitchen area. "You really have quite a lot here, for one room. And where's the kitch—" Mrs. Summers stopped mid-sentence when she caught sight of the rusted fridge and chipped sink. "Whoo, t-there it is…" she said, feigning enthusiasm. "Very cozy." She turned back towards Anna, and the redhead turned on the ladder so she was facing her mother. "I suppose you'll eat out a lot the first year?"

Anna smiled widely. "We're never eating out." She nodded her head towards the kitchen area. "It's big enough to make spaghetti and things."

"What 'things?'" Mrs. Summers asked, suddenly concerned.

Anna laughed. "It's a dish I make, called 'Things,'" she joked. She shook her head and descended the ladder, walking towards her mother. "Honestly, ma, we won't starve."

"I know, dear," Mrs. Summers said with a genuine smile. She shivered and rubbed her arms. "It's chilly in here," she stated. "Do you feel a draft?" she asked, looking at Anna questioningly.

"That's just your frozen heart," Elsa mumbled loudly.

Ignoring Elsa, Anna quickly moved her mother away from under the broken skylight, hoping she hadn't heard Elsa. "Stand over here, mom."

To the redhead's dismay, her mother _did_ hear. The older woman spun around to face Elsa, her round face red as she pointed a bony finger at the blonde. "Now listen here, you lousy, no good, son of a—!"

"WHAT you need is a drink to warm you up, ma!" Anna interrupted, shouting over her mother in order to get her to stop the string of curses that would have surely tumbled out of her mouth. Anna turned to Elsa, her face a scowl and her eyes promising future pain for her offensive outburst. "_Elsa_," she ground out. "Why don't you run downstairs and get some scotch?"

Elsa sputtered, standing up from her seat. "Now?"

Still angry, Mrs. Summers turned Anna to look back at her, a poor mask of happiness on her face. "Oh, no drink for me, darling. I'm leaving in a few minutes," she managed to say without breaking her painfully fake smile.

"Not soon enough," Elsa said, looking off to the side.

"Please, you can stay for one drink, mom," Anna pleaded. She turned back around and glared at Elsa who returned the gesture. A silent battle then commenced.

_Would you just shut up?_

_Why the hell would you ask that devil woman to stay longer than necessary?_

_You two need to just get over your egos and get along!_

_Ego? I don't have an ego!_

Mrs. Summers watched the silent exchange of glares, grunts, and furrowed brows in fascination. Her face lit in understanding when she guessed why Elsa was so mad. _The little rat wants me out of her hair._ "Oh fine. One drink," she stated, shooting Elsa a spiteful glance. "This place would benefit from me sticking around. My charm can help drive away the _filth_ that decided to move in."

Elsa laughed. "Ha! Your _charm_ is the inspiration for children's nightmares and horror stories."

"Elsa…," Anna growled threateningly. She turned her mother around and gave her quick instructions to look around the rest of the apartment before she stormed over to her wife, leering into her face. The two quickly engaged in a fast-spoken argument spoken through gritted teeth, arms flailing.

"There's so much you can do in here," Mrs. Summers commented, her eyes roaming the walls and ceiling. "Lots of wall space. What color are you going to paint it?" she asked Anna without looking back at her daughter.

Anna pulled herself from her fight with Elsa. "It's painted," she answered curtly.

"V-Very attractive," Mrs. Summers replied.

Elsa looked at her watch. "Wow. Nearly _six_!" she stated loudly, jutting her wrist into her wife's face for emphasis. Anna swatted her hand down and opened her mouth to renew their small argument.

But she was interrupted by her mother. "Oh poo, I've got to go soon," Mrs. Summers grumbled, turning to face her daughter and daughter-in-law.

Anna stepped forward, smiling. "Not until you have a drink, mom," she said, turning around and shooting Elsa a meaningful glare.

Elsa squared her shoulders in defiance. "Anna, I am not hiking down there just for a bottle of scotch."

"I don't see why you're complaining about a few stairs," mocked Mrs. Summers, folding her hands daintily in front of her. "I hear they use asses to hall cargo up mountains all the time."

Fists clenching at her sides, Elsa's face flushed so hot she looked like she was going to catch fire.

Anna sighed heavily, hanging her head. _You two are hopeless._ "Would you just go get the damn scotch?" Anna pleaded, dropping an arm to slap against her side.

Elsa looked at her wife and took pity on her. The poor redhead looked ready to either fall asleep or jump out a window. _Way to make her feel depressed, Elsa. Truly a fantastic job. Wife of the year right here. _

Reluctantly, Elsa lowered her eyes from Mrs. Summers', a move that made the woman puff up in triumph and superiority. Anna looked up and Elsa flashed her an apologetic smile. The redhead smiled widely in return, blowing a small kiss. Pretending to catch the kiss and hold it to her chest, Elsa strode to the door, taking care to stay as far away from Mrs. Summers as possible.

* * *

**So did you like the funnies? Took me a long time to think of/find them so I hope y'all enjoyed it as much as I did:D**

**And sassy Elsa? Come on, what could be better than that? (idk about keeping sassy Elsa...depends on what you guys think. I personally love it:)**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Your words make my job worth while!**


	4. Different Shades of Crazy

**Hellooo party people!**

**Thank you FrozenFanatic, NightsPoison, brofist1412, Unslightlyviewings, Demon Cat08, U-Madder, Lawl So Hard, DoubleDream, LilyGHall, ForeverTwatDarius, princezilla, D, Frost Wolf, WarThunder, IceMaster1928, SpicaCygnus, fh21, and Erzajane for reviewing! I can't believe last chapter got so many reviews! If any of y'all hear a keening squeak anytime last week, that would have been me screaming from OhMahGoshness:) You guys are too awesome for words**

**So sassy Elsa shall be staying! I loved writing her and you guys loved reading her, so she shall stay sasstastic!**

**I am literally leaving in a few hours to go to South Carolina. Sorry for the late update, but I just got back in town, wrote this chapter and another for my other Elsanna fic, and am leaving again. So if anybody's from SC, watch out for the 6'3 blonde;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen or Neil Simmons.**

* * *

Anna turned from the closed door to her mother. "Well?" she asked tentatively, a nervous smile on her face.

Mrs. Summers ignored her, turning back into the room and ambling to no particular place. "Why I ever let you marry that imbecile is beyond me. If I had my way, I would—"

"Mom."

Mrs. Summers turned to her daughter. Anna's half-lidded eyes and cocked jaw were testament of her disapproval. "What?" Mrs. Summers asked innocently.

Anna gestured around her. "The apartment?" she asked exasperatingly.

Mrs. Summers' demeanor changed immediately. She strode back to her daughter and cupped her cheeks, placing a quick peck on Anna's forehead. A sudden feeling of…well, _oldness_ overcame the woman. Anna, her baby girl, was eye-to-eye with her now. She had grown so fast. She was out on her own now. Sure, the redhead had been living with her up until the wedding, but the past few days had seemed like a lifetime. "Oh, Anna," Mrs. Summers breathed out. "I'm so happy for you."

Anna shrugged bashfully, sporting a goofy, lopsided smile. "It's not exactly what you pictured, is it, ma?"

The older woman lowered her hands and turned, giving the room another quick glance-over. "Well, it is _unusual_—like you," she drawled, laughing at her own joke. "I remember when you were a little girl you said you wanted to live on the moon." She walked past Anna towards the kitchen, inspecting the mysterious orange substance that coated the refrigerator. She turned back to Anna, a look of concerned disgust on her face. "I thought you were joking."

Anna's face, which was gleaming with a happy smile that followed her mother around the room, fell to look at her hands, a light embarrassed blush coating her cheeks.

"Are you sure you're happy, Anna?" Mrs. Summers asked with disturbing seriousness as she walked towards the center of the room.

Anna leaned against the wall under the radiator, folding her arms over her chest. "With the apartment, you mean?" she asked, sensing a hidden meaning to her mother's words.

After a pregnant silence, her mother responded. "Yes."

Anna shrugged, blinking slowly. "I'm happy with Elsa. I think that's the same thing."

Mrs. Summers slowly sat back on the ladder, folding her hands daintily over her knees. "I worry about you, Anna. You're so impulsive. You jump into life." Mrs. Summers looked to the side, and after a physical shiver of detest and a resigned roll of her eyes, she added, "The one thing your poor excuse for a wife does right is look first."

Anna snorted a mocking laugh. "She doesn't look. She _stares_. That's the problem," she said exasperatingly, rolling her eyes and letting out a sigh. Shaking further thoughts of Elsa's overly cautious nature from her mind, Anna strode towards her mother, crouching in front of her and putting her chin on her knees like she had always done when she was younger. Mrs. Summers laughed at her childish behavior and pet her hair with a hand. "Oh, mother. You have no idea how scared I was about you coming up here. I was sure you'd think I was completely out of my mind."

Mrs. Summers cocked her head in sincere confusion while she absentmindedly rearranged Anna's sloppy bangs. "Why should you think that, dear?"

Anna rearranged herself so that she was sitting on her knees with her head on her folded arms on her mother's knees. She looked to the side, avoiding eye-contact. "Well, it's the first thing I've ever done on my own." Anna looked back up at her mother. "Without your help…"

Mrs. Summers chuckled and smiled, waving her free hand dismissively at her daughter's worries. "If you wanted it, I'm sure you would have asked for it…But you didn't. And I understand."

Anna sighed in relief, a grin splitting her face. "I'm so glad to hear that, mom. It's something I just had to do all by myself—"

"Anna, you mustn't think I'm hurt. I'm not hurt," her mother interrupted, her smile still on her face and her hand still playing in Anna's hair.

Anna blinked. Her mother's smile suddenly seemed very feign. "W-Well I'm glad you—"

"You mustn't think I'm hurt. I don't get hurt over things like that."

Anna's brow furrowed slightly. "I didn't think you woul—"

"_Other _things hurt me, but not that…"

Anna eyed her mother carefully, now suspicious. "Good…," she said slowly. Wanting to change the subject, Anna sprang from the floor and headed towards the bedroom. "Hey, let's open my presents and see what I've got. And you try to act surprised."

"You won't let me buy you anything," Mrs. Summers complained, smoothing out her coat as Anna carried the three white packages to the ladder. The redhead sat Indian style in front of her mother, the packages at her side. "Oh, they're just a few little things," Mrs. Summers said.

Anna picked up the smallest of the boxes and shook it vigorously, listening carefully for the distinct sounds of its contents. "What's in here?" She asked excitedly. "It sounds expensive."

Closing her eyes with a groan, Mrs. Summers dropped her face into her hand, shaking her head. "Well, _now _I think it's a broken clock."

Opening the box, Anna tossed out the tissue paper and lifted up a small stone clock with a strange, troll-looking icon hanging off the face. She smiled and placed the clock back into the box, happy with the unique gift. "I'll bet you cleaned out the gift department. I think I'm a regular stop on the delivery route now," she said cheerily, reaching for the next box.

Mrs. Summers pointed at the clock. "Aunt Bulba was with me when I picked it out. She thinks I'm over here every day now," she laughed.

Anna pulled off the lid of the next box and looked up at her mother. "You know you're welcome here anytime, mom."

Mrs. Summers ignored her comment. "I said, 'Why, Bulba? Just because I'm alone now?' I said. 'I'm not afraid to live alone. In some ways it's better to live alone,' I said."

Anna's animate gift-opening came to a screeching sluggishness. She spared her mother multiple glances as the older woman talked. She slowly lifted the tissue paper of the second box, revealing a medium sized painted of Joan of Arc. Realizing that her mother was no longer paying attention to her opening her gifts, Anna left the painting in the box, put the box to the side with that of the clock, and picked up the last gift.

"But you can't tell her that," Mrs. Summers continued. "She thinks a woman living alone, way out in New Jersey, is the worst thing in the world. 'It's not,' I told her. 'It's not the _worst_ thing—'"

"HEY does this come with directions?" Anna asked loudly, successfully cutting off her mother's rant. In the last box was a coffee pot, it parts skewn around the box.

Mrs. Summers blinked and leaned over, investigating what the object in question was. Seeing what it was, the older woman leaned back and rolled her eyes. "If I knew about this kitchen, it would have come with hot coffee," she said sarcastically, gesturing towards the referred area.

Anna stood up and leaned down, giving her mother an awkward, Anna-style, loving hug. "Mom, you're an absolute angel," she said, smiling when her mother returned the embrace and patted her back. Anna leaned back, holding her mother's shoulders while she looked down at her. "But you've got to stop buying things for me. It's getting embarrassing." Anna released her mother and picked up the packages, bringing them back to the bedroom. "If you keep it up, I'm going to open a discount house," she said jokingly.

Mrs. Summers waved her off. "It's my pleasure, Anna. It's a mother's greatest joy to be able to buy gifts for her daughter when she gets married. You'll see someday. I just hope your child doesn't deprive _you _of that pleasure."

Standing back in front of her mother, Anna rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip. "I'm not depriving you, ma," she said with a lopsided smile, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"I didn't say you were."

"Yes, you did."

"Then why are you?"

"Because I think you should spend the money on yourself, that's why," Anna stated exasperatingly, crouching in front of her mother again but this time just putting her hands and not her head on her knees.

"Myself?" Mrs. Summers asked indignantly. "What does a woman like me need? Living all alone…way out in New Jersey."

Anna rolled her eyes. "It's been six days. And you're five minutes from the city."

"Who can get through that traffic in five minutes?" Mrs. Summers defended, not looking at Anna's face.

"Then why don't you move into New York?" Anna asked.

"Where…?" Mrs. Summers asked, looking back at Anna. "Where would I live?"

Anna shook her mother's knees before she stood up again. "Mom, I don't care where you live. The point is, you've got to start living for yourself now…Mother, the whole world has just opened up to you. Why don't you travel? You've got the time and the luggage."

Mrs. Summers scoffed. "Travel!...You think it's so easy for a woman of my age to travel alone?"

"You'll meet people."

Mrs. Summers ignored her daughter's comment. "I read a story in the Times. A middle-aged woman traveling alone fell off the deck of a ship. They never discovered it until they got to France."

Anna crossed her arms over her chest, her eyebrow cocked playfully. "I promise you, mom, if _you _fell off a ship, _someone_ would know about it."

"I thought I might get myself a job," Mrs. Summers said quickly, changing the subject as soon as she suspected she would lose the argument.

Anna's head perked. "Hey, that's a great idea."

Mrs. Summers sighed defeatedly, her confident demeanor deflated. "What would I do?" she asked.

"I-I don't know what you would do. What would you _like _to do?" Anna asked seriously, sincerity and concern dripping from her voice.

"I'd like to be a grandmother. I think that would be nice."

"A-A-A grandmother? Pfft…uh…W-What's your rush?" Anna stuttered, completely caught off-guard by the question. She and Elsa did in fact have plans of having children, but their existence was not of any near time.

Now it was Anna's turn to change the subject. "You know, underneath that thick skin of yours, you're still a young, vital woman…Do you know what I think you _really _need?" she asked, leaning towards her mother until their faces were mere inches apart.

Mrs. Summers turned away from her daughter. "Yes, and I don't want to hear it," she stated, throwing her nose in the air.

Anna leaned back, one hand balled on her hip while the other gently jabbed her mother's chest. "Because you're afraid of the truth!" she accused.

Mrs. Summers turned back to her daughter. "It's not the truth I'm afraid to hear. It's the _word _you're going to use," she loudly cried.

Anna smirked, her brow angled downwards. "You're darn right I'm gonna use that word…It's _LOVE!_"

Mrs. Summers feigned physical pain at the word, one hand covering her heart while the other swooned over her forehead.

Sighing at her mother's reaction, Anna crouched back down, taking her mother's hands into her own and looking into her eyes with as much seriousness as she could muster. "A week ago I didn't know what it meant. And then I checked into the Plaza Hotel for six _wonderful _days…and do you know what happened to me there?"

Mrs. Summers closed her eyes. "I promised myself I wouldn't ask."

Anna continued, undeterred by her mother's comment. "I found _love_…spiritual, emotional, and physical love. And I don't think anyone on earth should be without it."

Mrs. Summers smiled at her daughter, her sincerity striking a cord in the old woman's heart. She tenderly cupped Anna's face with her hand and stroked her freckled cheek with her thumb. "I'm not. I have you," she defended.

Anna rolled her eyes, her mother's hand falling from her face. "I don't mean _that_ kind of love. I'm talking about late at night in—"

"I _know _what you're talking about," Mrs. Summers cried, stopping Anna before she could go into any further detail.

"Don't you even want to discuss it?" Anna asked.

Mrs. Summers shielded her eyes with her hand. "No with _you _in the room."

"Well, what are you going to do about it?"

Mrs. Summers stood up, brushing off her coat. Anna stood up beside her, waiting for her to answer. "I'm going back to New Jersey and giving myself a perm," she stated. The older woman turned to her daughter, hugged her quickly, and then held her at arm's length by her shoulders, admiring the young woman her daughter had grown into. "Anna, sweetheart, I appreciate your concern, but I'm very happy the way I am."

Anna hugged her mother again. "I'll be the judge of who's happy," she said, snuggling her face into her mother's neck before pulling back, the sharp smell of hairspray and perfume strong on her face.

Suddenly, the front door busted open. Shivering and grasping a small paper bag, Elsa bent over her knees like a runner after a decathlon, her breath coming in short wheezes as she stared at the small puddle of sweat dripping from her face onto the floor.

With her nose high in the air, Mrs. Summers turned towards the blonde, all warm demeanor vanished. "Well, look what the cat dragged in and pissed all over," Mrs. Summers stated in a nonchalant tone.

Elsa tilted her head up, her torso parallel to the floor and her hands still on her knees as she glared at the older woman with the last of her energy. "If I throw a stick *pant pant* will you _leave?!_" she yelled, her irritated, angry voice a surprise to all in the room.

Mrs. Summers blinked and turned to Anna curiously. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asked her daughter.

"Don't think about it too hard…*pant pant*…You might hurt yourself," Elsa gasped, bending over into a fit of coughing. She gestured towards Mrs. Summers. "Ignorance is bliss…isn't that what the doctor told you?"

"I think you're getting it confused with you law school's motto."

Elsa fumed, her face turning different shades of red. She opened her mouth to make a retort, but all that came out was an unintelligible wheeze.

Anna turned on her mother, fed up with the insults of both parties. "Mother, I would appreciate it if—"

_BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ_

"Ooh, there's Aunt Bulba. I've got to go," Mrs. Summers hastily said, pecking her daughter on the cheek and racing to the door. She was literally saved by the bell. Not even Anna's mother wanted to be around her when the redhead lost her patience. "I'll see you on Friday!" she called from the door before she began her descent down the stairs.

The slam of the door shutting behind the plump old woman echoed in the empty room with Elsa's slowly stopping pants.

Anna eyed her wife. The blonde was quiet. Too quiet.

Elsa leaned against the wall, the bag of scotch held tightly in her hand as she stared at her wife with an almost glare.

"Elsa?" Anna asked tentatively, stepping towards her wife with the caution of a safari hunter approaching a crouched lion. "Why are you so quiet?" she asked slowly, her hands held protectively to her chest.

Elsa took a deep breath. "Well, no one plans a murder out loud, do they?" she spat sarcastically, not moving from the wall.

Anna dropped her hands, propping one on her hip as she gave Elsa an unamused look. "Elsa…Seriously. I can tell something's wrong. What is it?...The stairs?"

Elsa shook her head, her mouth still open as she gulped in air.

"The hole?"

Elsa shook her head again, tripping up the step into the room. She sorely made her way towards Anna.

"The bathtub?"

Laughing almost insanely, Elsa shook her head again, stumbling past Anna and sitting on the ladder.

"Something new?" Anna asked, feigning cheer as she held up her arms in a V.

Elsa pointed towards her, her index finger and thumb resembling a gun. She winked and made a clicking noise with her tongue, symbolizing a bull's eye.

"Well what?" Anna asked, dropping her hands on her head.

Elsa stood up and leaned on the ladder, looking at Anna with a pointedly (almost sarcastically) faked happy expression. "Guess!" she wheezed, her breath now caught back up.

Dropping her hands, Anna walked towards Elsa and leaned on the opposite side of the ladder, using it as a potential barrier/shield from her obviously angry wife. "Elsa, I can't guess. Tell me."

"Oh, come on, Anna. Take a wild stab at it," Elsa drawled, punctuation her words with the hand that held the scotch. "Try something like, 'All the neighbors are _crazy_.'"

Anna's mouth gaped open and she blinked slowly, analyzing what Elsa had just said. "_Are_ all the neighbors crazy?" she asked tentatively, leaning away from the ladder.

Elsa circled around the ladder. "I just had an interesting talk with the man down in the liquor store." She walked past the ladder into the kitchen area, holding the neck of the scotch in front of her chest like it was a bouquet of flowers. Her insane-looking smile was still plastered on her face, and her voice was sickly sweet, like that of an ass-kissing flight attendant. "Do you know we have some of the greatest weirdos in the country right here, in this house?"

Anna turned on the ladder, bending down and sitting on one of the middle pegs. Now she was concerned. "Really?" she asked slowly. "Like who?"

Elsa pointed towards the floor with an open hand, the scotch still held in front of her and her face still insanely happy. "Well, like to start with, in Apartment 1C are the Boscos…Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco." Elsa placed the scotch on top of the fridge and then folded her hands in front of her like a referee doing the pledge of allegiance.

"Who are they?"

Elsa sauntered slowly towards Anna. "Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco are a lovely young couple who just happen to be of the same sex—"

"Um, Elsa…"

"—and no one knows which one that is." Elsa turned towards Anna, her hands now folded behind her back.

Anna froze in her spot, waiting patiently as her wife continued her now justified rant.

"In Apartment 3C live Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales—"

Anna turned towards Elsa. "So?" she interrupted. The couple sounded normal.

Elsa wagged a finger in Anna's direction, still smiling. "I'm not through. Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales, Mr. and Mrs. Armandariz and Mr. Calhoun…who must be the umpire."

Elsa walked around the ladder towards Anna. "No one knows who lives in Apartment 4D." Elsa grabbed the outside beam of the ladder by Anna's head and swung in front of the redhead so that she was looking down at Anna, their faces an arm's length away. "No one has come in or gone out in three years except every morning there are nine empty cans of tuna fish outside the door." Elsa finished with turning and pointing towards their own door.

Anna's face gaped in horror, and she grasped Elsa shirt. "No kidding? Who do you think lives there?"

After a second longer of looking at the door, Elsa turned to look down at Anna. "Well, it sounds like a big cat with a can opener." Releasing the ladder, Elsa strode across the room to where she had left her attaché case and picked it up. Anna followed behind her.

Elsa spun quickly, making Anna jump slightly. Elsa's face was tense, and Anna could tell by her wife's unnatural happiness that the blonde was just about out of patience. "Now there _are _one or two normal couples in the building, but at this rent, _we're_ not one of them," Elsa said.

Anna watched as Elsa strode across the room towards the bedroom. "Well, you have to pay for all this color and charm," the redhead cried, trying to somehow give reason to Elsa's accusations.

"Well, if you figure it that way, we're getting a bargain," the blonde spat cheerily over her shoulder as she ascended the bedroom stairs. "Oh, yes! I almost forgot." Suddenly, she spun and walked back towards Anna, holding her attaché case in front of her with both hands. "Mr. Oaken. Mr. Victor Oaken. He lives in Apartment 6A," she said, her smile again creeping onto her face.

Anna blinked in confusion. There couldn't be a 6A. There were only five floors. "Where's 6A?"

Elsa tilted her head up.

Anna gasped. "On the roof?" she asked indignantly.

"Attic," Elsa corrected shortly. "It's an attic. He also skis and climbs mountains. He's fifty-eight years old and he's known as _The Bluebeard of 48th Street_."

Elsa turned to go back to the bedroom but Anna caught her arm, turning her back around. "What does that mean?" Anna asked quickly, her tone slightly worried.

"Well, it either means that he's a practicing girl attacker or else he's an old man with a blue beard," she said, her face disturbingly happy. Elsa moved her attaché case to one hand and grasped Anna's hand with the other. "I'll say this, Anna. It's not going to be a dull two years." Elsa's smile dropped into the scowl that was boiling underneath it when she turned away from Anna back to the stairs.

Elsa walked to the top of the stairs, Anna remaining at the bottom of the stairs behind her. "Where are you going?" the redhead called behind her.

Elsa spun on the top of the stairs, her smile starting to crack. "I am going to stand in the bedroom and work," she stated, hugging her attaché case to her chest and tapping its side. "I've got to pay for all this _color _and _charm_. If anything comes up, like the furniture or the heat, let me know. _Just let me know_," the blonde drawled, slamming the bedroom door shut behind her.

Anna hopped up the stairs and knocked on the door. "Can't I come in and watch you?" she asked. She leaned her face into the crack of the door. "Hey, Elsa, I'm lonesome…" she whined, pouting her lip. Hearing no response, Anna turned her back against the door, facing the middle of the apartment.

Her eyes widened when she saw what was now in the middle of their room. "…and _scared!_" she squeaked.

* * *

**Sorry, Elsa. Anna's mom is gonna be back. #notsorry (tehe) Elsa and Mrs. Summers' back-story will come later too.**

**IMPORTANT: just to clarify, Elsa and Anna did NOT get married after knowing each other for six days. They've known each other for a while, it's just that Anna lived with her mother until she and Elsa got married and got their apartment (Which they have a two year lease for)**

**I stole a joke from BBT...I have no shame and I don't own it. It was funny XD**

**Elsa's not to her breaking point yet;) The girl has a surprising amount of patience. **

**I can't promise we'll be able to meet all the neighbors, but I will try my best. Or maybe you guys don't want to meet them. Idc. Your choice:)**

**And what is in their apartment?! Stay tuned to find out!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! It won't hurt your fingers, I promise;)**


	5. Yoo Hoo

**Guess who's back!**

**Thank you PrinceRazor, ForeverTwatDarius, Unsightly, last white feather, DemonCat08, princezilla, brofist1412, IceMaster1928, and Guest for reviewing! *explodes and gives power to defy gravity***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Frozen or Neil Simmons.**

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"Yoo hoo!"

Anna froze where she stood. In her apartment was the largest man she had ever seen. You could land an airplane on his shoulders they were so broad. He looked like an old lumberjack/retired bear wrestler. His wide red nose and small eyes were centered on his face, and he had a bushy red beard that curled around his ears, cheeks, and upper lip, missing his chin. He looked to be about her mother's age.

Less intimidating was his apparel. This behemoth wore an itchy-looking sweater that looked like it was made by his grandmother. Its turquoise blue collar did little to cover his thick neck, and the assortment of colored circles and lines on its baby barf green made her nearly gag. He wore a matching hat with a tuft of green on top as well as thick leather suspenders, brown pants, and worn leather shoes. A true mountain man.

His waved his massive hand again. "Yoo hoo!" he repeated, standing in the middle of the room with his large feet together and his shoulders back.

Anna simply gawked, opening and closing her mouth like a fish as her eyes got impossibly wider.

The man touched the tips of his fingers together in front of his barrel chest, his mustache-beard turning up in a smile that folded his wrinkles upwards. "I beg your pardon," he said in a heavily accented Slavic voice. "I hope I am not disturbing you. I do not normally do this sort of thing, but I find myself in a bit of a rather embarrassing position." The floorboards creaked as he began to shuffle his feet forwards, and Anna matched his steps in moving backwards. "I could use your help. My name is Oaken," he introduced, dipping down to look Anna in the eye. "Victor Oaken."

With the man leaning uncomfortably close to her face, Anna turned her face to the side in a vain attempt to distance herself from him. "O-Oh yes…" she stuttered nervously. "Y-You live in the attic." She turned her head back forwards to look him in the eye, her chin tucked tightly against her chest.

Hands falling to his sides, Mr. Oaken leaned back, a look of confusion on his face as his smile faltered slightly. "Yes, that's right. Have we met?" he asked.

Anna almost breathed a sigh of relief when the man leaned back, but he was still too close. "No! No no no—not yet," she quickly said, smiling nervously.

"Oh. Well you see, I want to use your bedroom."

Anna's eyes widened. "My _bedroom_?" she squeaked.

"Yes. I can't get into my apartment. I want to use your window. I'll just crawl out along that ledge," he explained, pointing up at the ledge on the skylight window panes.

"O-Oh. Did you lose your key?"

"No. I have my key. I lost my money. I'm four months behind in my rent."

Anna blinked, her fright morphing into a socially awkward attempt of understanding. "T-That's too bad. I mean, it's right in the middle of winter and—"

Mr. Oaken interrupted her with a sigh. "Well, you will discover as time goes by in this middle income prison camp that we have a…a rat fink for a landlord," he acquiesced. The large man turned his hulking frame towards the kitchen area. "You don't have any hot coffee do you?" he asked, noticing the new coffee pot. "I'd be happy to pay you for it."

"No. No, I'm afraid not we just moved in," Anna quickly said.

"Oh really," Mr. Oaken drawled, taking a long look around the room. He looked back to Anna, a pleasant mask of curiosity covering his understandable disgust for the room's current state. "What are you, a folk singer?" he asked.

"No. A wife…They didn't deliver our furniture yet," Anna responded, still a little bit on edge.

The man smiled slowly, his eyes flickering up and down Anna's body in a way that made the redhead shrink back and hug her arms protectively, a scarlet blush lighting up her face. Mr. Oaken's smile widened, and he took slow steps towards the adorably nervous girl. "You know, of course, that you're unbearably pretty," he said softly, his eyes half-lidded. Anna backed up with his steps. "What's your name?" he asked.

Anna's back hit the wall, and her hands flew back to steady herself from the sudden jarring. She glanced back, seeing she was trapped before glancing back at the man. "A-Anna…," she stated, her voice cracking slightly. When the man leaned forward, Anna thrust her fist in front of his face, showing him her wedding ring. "…_Mrs._ Anna Winters," she added. The man blinked, a look of amusement on his face. Anna jumped slightly and switched her fists when she noticed that she was holding her wrong hand up in his face.

Mr. Oaken leaned back, his demeanor back to that of a pleasant stranger. The change in character confused the short redhead. It was sortof like a Jekyll and Hyde routine. "You're still unbearably pretty," he said in a polite voice. "I may fall in love with you by seven o' clock."

Mr. Oaken's large shoulders quivered in a shiver, and he turned to look up at the source of the sudden cold. Anna snuck to the other side of the room while he was distracted. "I see the rat fink left the hole in the skylight," the accented man observed.

Anna nodded. "Yes, I just noticed that. But he'll fix it, won't he?"

Mr. Oaken laughed and waved a hand. "I wouldn't count on it. My bathtub's been running since nineteen-forty-nine." The large man again walked towards Anna, stopping a few feet away. "Does your husband work during the day?"

Anna stiffened at the again close proximity. "My _wife _does, yes…Why…?"

"It's just that I'm home during the day, and I like to find out what my odds are," he drawled with a coy wiggle of his bushy eyebrows. "Am I making you nervous?" Mr. Oaken asked slowly, leaning down in her face again.

"V-Very."

"Good," he said shortly, his character again flipped like a switch as he quickly stood back straight. "Once a month, I try to make pretty young girls nervous just to keep my ego from going out. But I'll save you a lot of anguish…I'm fifty-six years old and a thoroughly nice fellow," he said with a kind voice and smile, bowing his head slightly in some sort of greeting.

Anna narrowed her eyes suspiciously and cocked an eyebrow. "Except I heard you were fifty-_eight_ years old. And if you're knocking off two years, I'm nervous all over again."

Mr. Oaken tapped her nose playfully. "Not only pretty but bright," he said with a laugh. He walked over to the ladder and sat on one of the higher pegs, his legs still managing to touch the floor. The old ladder creaked painfully under the man's monstrous weight, and Anna wondered how long it would take to break. "I wish I were ten years older," Mr. Oaken breathed out, suddenly sad.

"Older?" Anna asked, cautiously walking towards the man. Even though this stranger was…_unique_, Anna liked him. Sortof. His sudden changes in mood were amusing to say the least.

"Yes. Dirty old men seem to get away with a lot more. I'm still at the awkward stage," he said, a jolly laugh rumbling from his frame. Anna found herself laughing along with him. "How long are you married?" Mr. Oaken asked.

"Six days—"

"In love?"

"Very much—"

"Damn…"

"What's wrong?"

Mr. Oaken flung up a hand. "Under my present state of financial duress, I was hoping to be invited down soon for a free meal. But with newlyweds I could starve to death," he joked.

"Oh! Well, we'd love to have you for dinner, as soon as we get set up."

Mr. Oaken stood up suddenly, and Anna found herself shrinking back when he was again looming in front of her. "I hate generalizations. When?" he boomed.

"When…? W-Well, Friday? Is that all right?" Anna stuttered, scrambling for an answer for the frighteningly large man.

Mr. Oaken clapped his hands together, the loud sound making Anna's ears ring. "Perfect. I'll be famished. I hadn't planned on eating Thursday," he joked, laughing again.

Anna's laugh was interrupted when a thought suddenly crossed her mind. She gripped her hair. "Oh no…wait! On Friday my mo—" she began to say before stopping, her mouth gaping open. Anna took a step back, a hand covering her open mouth as her eyes analyzed the older man in front of her. The mountain man looked down, selfconsciously wiping his sweater as she judged him. With a Cheshire grin splitting her face, Anna slowly moved her gaze up to Mr. Oaken's face. "Yeah," she said slowly, thoughtfully. "Friday night will be just fine."

Mr. Oaken smiled. "It's a date. I'll bring the wine. You can pay me for it when I get here." He walked passed her towards the bedroom stairs before stopping and turning back to Anna. "Which reminds me. You're invited to my cocktail party tonight. Ten o'clock…You do drink, don't you?" he asked.

Anna smiled, walking towards the man. "Yes, of course."

"Good. Bring liquor." He continued his climb to the bedroom. "I'll see you tonight at ten," he called over his shoulder.

Anna shivered, rubbing her arms. "If I don't freeze to death first."

Mr. Oaken stopped his ascent up the stairs. "Oh, you don't know about the plumbing, do you? Everything in this museum works backward." He walked back down and pointed up at the radiator on the wall by the stairs. "For instance, there's a little knob up there that says, 'Important—Turn Right'…So you turn left."

Anna nodded in understanding. No wonder it was so damn cold. She looked up at the radiator, realizing she would need a chair (which hadn't arrived yet) to reach it. "Oh, can you give me a little boost?" she asked.

Mr. Oaken turned with a grin. "With the greatest of physical pleasure," he said. Anna blushed when his large hands hugged her around the waist and lifted her into the air with ease. She tried to ignore the fact that she was giving him a face-full of her butt. "One, two, three…up…Okay?" he asked, his breath tickling the skin that gaped between her pants and shirt.

Anna steadied one hand on the wall while the other reached for the knob, trying to get the task over with as fast as possible. "I can't quite reach—"

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened, and Elsa strode out with her affidavits in hand and her trench coat draped around her shoulders. "Hey, Anna, when are they going to get here with—" The blonde froze in mid-step when she saw Anna in the arms of Mr. Oaken.

Mr. Oaken quickly dropped Anna to the ground, both blushing in embarrassment. "I thought you said she works during the day," he whispered to Anna, facing away from Elsa.

Staring at Elsa, Anna ignored his comment. Panic began to flutter in her stomach when she recognized the glare Elsa was shooting at the mountain man through her black reading glasses. The last time she had seen that look was back in college when an architect major tried to make a move on her while she and Elsa were dating. The poor guy was hospitalized for three days. "E-Elsa…," Anna stuttered, scrambling to save the strange mountain man from her wife's possessive wrath. The blonde kept her eyes on her potential victim. "…T-This is Mr. Oaken. He was just showing me how to work the radiator," she stated with a nervous laugh. Elsa's eyes pulled away and looked at Anna, their expression softening only slightly.

Mr. Oaken walked up the stairs, a hand outstretched in greeting. Elsa slowly backed up as the man climbed the steep steps, his form overshadowing her as she craned her neck to look up at him. "Victor Oaken. I'm your upstairs neighbor. I'm fifty-nine years old and a totally nice fellow," he greeted cheerily.

Nearly all hostility had left Elsa's eyes, replaced by fear and apprehension as she gazed up at the man that could easily break her in two. Elsa had little room to maneuver around the large man on the small landing on top of the stairs. "H-Hello," she stuttered, her eyes not leaving his face as she shook hands with him. Well, not really shake hands. The man's hand was so large that it easily enveloped all of her hand and wrist.

"Mr. Oaken was just explaining that all the plumbing works backwards," Anna explained from the bottom of the stairs.

Mr. Oaken turned to Anna, releasing Elsa's hand. "That's right. The important thing to remember is you have to flush _up_…And with that information, I will make my departure. Don't forget tonight at ten," he quickly said, trying to shuffle around Elsa to the bedroom door.

Elsa did a double take, blinking in confusion. "Woah—What's tonight at ten?" she asked Anna, not moving to allow the man to get to the door.

Anna ignored Elsa, her eyes on Mr. Oaken. "Oh, that's very kind of you, but I don't think so. We're expecting our furniture any minute. Maybe some other time?"

"What's tonight at ten—?" Elsa asked Mr. Oaken since her wife appeared to ignore her.

Mr. Oaken, now behind Elsa, stopped and turned towards Anna. He placed a heavy hand on Elsa's shoulder as he leaned over her to respond to the redhead. "Oh, I'll arrange it all for you in the morning. I'm also brilliant decorator," he said with a smile. He embraced Elsa with both hands, the poor blonde trying not to wheeze for air as he held her in a supposed friendly gesture. "Don't forget. I insist you come," he told his captive.

Anna smiled. "Well, that's really very nice of you," she said, answering for her and Elsa.

Mr. Oaken released Elsa, and the blonde gasped for air. "I told you. I'm a very nice person," he said. He laughed at himself, slapping his bear-paw hand on Elsa's back. The blonde struggled to catch herself from landing on her face from the blow, her affidavits flying from her hand. Not noticing Elsa's distress, Mr. Oaken turned to the bedroom door with a smile and wave. "Do svidaniya!" he called before disappearing into the bedroom.

Her affidavits forgotten, Elsa turned towards Anna. "What's tonight at ten?" she demanded. She glanced to their bedroom. "Where's he going?" she asked, her voice squeaking as she pointed towards Mr. Oaken.

"Don't forget Friday!" Anna called after the mountain man.

Elsa looked incredulously at her wife. "He's going into the bedroom. What about Friday?" she asked hurriedly, following the old man.

Anna strode across the room towards the phone. "He's coming to dinner," she said over her shoulder, not knowing if Elsa heard her or not. Anna picked up the phone and began to dial. "Hello, operator?"

Elsa ran out of the bedroom, nearly falling down the stairs. "Anna! That nut went out the window!" she yelled, her eyes wide and her glasses hanging half off her face.

Anna ignored her. "I'm calling West Orange Port—"

Elsa hopped down the stairs. "Anna, did you hear what I said?! There's an old nut out on our ledge!"

"—353422—" Anna continued into the phone.

"Who are you calling?!" Elsa asked exasperatedly.

Anna turned to Elsa. "My mother. On Friday night she's going to have dinner with that 'old nut'... Hi, Jessie! Can you tell mom to call me when she gets in?" Anna continued to talk into the phone while Elsa gaped at the old man walking fearlessly across the ledge in the skylight. He stopped for a second and waved to her before he disappeared on the other side of the roof.

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**So now we have met one neighbor:) Others will possibly come later **

**QUESTION: G!P ELSA? (someone PMed me about it, and I'm curious about what y'all think...)**

**REVIEW PLEASE! **


	6. G P AN

I was going to make this announcement next chapter, but I just decided to do a quick A/N To get it out of the way and clear anyone's worries.

**In regards to G!P Elsa, I have decided to NOT do it.** The original plot line will stay the same with a good old vaginaxvagina story:) Someone had just PMed the idea to me, and it struck me as a maybe since that person went through the trouble of PMing me. (Personally (for this story) I would prefer no g!p because of what I have planned) But those of you who didn't want it seemed much more adamant then those who did, so I shall keep the story as it was previously planned:)


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